Monday, February 9, 2009

Nice guys are assholes

There are many reasons for why women do not like "nice guys".

- Sexually: Nice guys suck in bed.
Nice guys do get many women because of their handicapped character, and the result is a pussy-drying mix of insecurity, lack of experience and neediness (ranging from too many compliments to premature ejaculation).
Moreover, women see nice guys as potential "relationship guys". They know that guys who think long term girlfriend are often jealous (of the alphas endangering her faithfulness), and therefore prefer less promiscuous women. To women this Madonna/Whore syndrome is equal to being judgmental about devious, raunchy sex. Women do not want to be judged for their fantasies. They will keep them secret is they fear the guy will not understand. As a result, these guys often will live their lives without ever getting to know the side of female sexuality that is not shown in the love making scenes of Hollywood movies. Merely providing monotonous kissy-cuddly vanilla sex and failing to see the need for dominance and taboo-breaking variety in their sex lives, they will fail to cater to a women's sexuality in the long run.

- Socially: Nice guys are getting tooled by other people, and will never get anywhere in live. They typically are low ranking males.
For women this means sperm (and possible offspring) of men who are less successful than others, and less resources than what she would get when with a man who "made it". This is how the evolutionary molded, unconscious mind of a female primate sees it:
An alpha offers great sperm (turning into scores-of-women-fucking alpha sons).
A beta can at least provide for the (ideally alpha) offspring.
Nice guys are omegas. They have nothing to offer

- Economically: Nice guys don't have options. Nice guys have nothing to offer, and they know it. They use "niceness" instead. They are nice, because they hope it is their pathetically cheap niceness that will make the women want them. But, attraction is not a choice. Women cannot be persuaded (and that is a nice way of saying: bribed) into attraction. Women are attracted or not, and they have no control over that. Women are attracted when they feel that the man is of high value. After all, all mating rituals are nothing but a barter interaction.
Women have a feel for their "market value" and expect the same or more in return. If a man offers right away what other men do not put out that easily (say attention, a touch, a kiss or even sex), she will rightfully assume that this person's offers (attention/touch/kiss/sex) are "easy to get".

High value equals high demand and low supply (scarcity). A high value male is in high demand, and hard to get. Nice guys are the complete opposite

- Emotionally: Nice guys are insecure. Their niceness is nothing but a "don't bite me" reflex. Smiling has evolved from the fear grin elicit by low ranking primates in the presence of aggressive, high ranking males.
Women are receptive beings. They will not just decode these signals sent through beta male body language, due to their heightened empathy they will eventually experience (feel) what the man is feeling. These are unpleasant feelings to a woman, especially compared to the feelings of strength, calm and decisiveness projected by alpha males.
Women want a leader. They feel most secure (and sleep better) in the presence of the kind of strong, masculine man they go to bed with.
To most women the only emotional benefit of a nice guy is that of a male girlfriend (emotional tampon). They offer "male" advice in the absence of sexual tension. Women do not notice that the absence of sexual attraction is one sided. They literally think of these guys as penis-less.

- Ethically: Nice guys are assholes: A lot of what nice guys think is nice is anything but. Woot? Yes, you heard it. "Nice" is often the complete opposite.

Nice guys are liars.

Take the following example:
- Great job!
- Thanks, but ohhh nooo - it wasn't that great. You are so much better!

This happens quite frequently. "Nice" people assume that (false) modesty/humbleness requires them to downplay their own achievements. They believe this makes the other person feel better and it prevents the perception of them bragging about themselves.

Think again! The first person says that this was a great job. The second person disagrees. The second person essentially questions the first person's judgment - or worse assumes that the first person is a liar - only trying to please the person who did a great job.

There is no need to be that argumentative. There is also no need to say it wasn't that good is both sides are likely to agree that it was great. This is a genuine asshole move. Done by somebody who believes it was the "nice" thing to do.

Nice guys do that all the time. And they don't leave it at that. Instead of telling a woman what they want (i.e. sex), they automatically assume that the woman - if anything - wants a relationship (or worse: their money in the form of gifts and dinners) with them. So, instead of signaling a woman that they want to fuck, they will signal that they want a relationship just to get laid. For women this is confusing (and actually very creepy). Are they so unattractive that someone does not want to sleep with them? How can a man want a relationship if he does not even know yet whether they are sexually compatible? Women understand that the guy is either trying to fool them (and why?), or so desperate he will hold on to anything female he ever gets (and who wants to be with someone who couldn't chose to be with you freely?).

Nice guys are spine-less brown nosed opportunists

Lacking options when it comes to women (and that is mostly due to a mindset of low self worth and female scarcity), a nice guys will take whatever he gets. Starved of female attention, he will fall in love with any girl that signals even the slightest interest. Nice guys are not just needy, they are greedy.

Interestingly, many nice guys do not seem to have any moral issues if the girl they fall for is already "taken". If she complains to him about her jerk of a boyfriend (assuming he is just like her girlfriends), he sees an opportunity. He fantasizes about "saving her" from the assholes she sis attracted to, and conveniently "win her over" at the same time.

Shit tests are designed to test for spine and to detect the opportunism that characterizes nice guys. Women despise men that let them walk all over them. They know that a man who does anything to please them will do so to everyone else in life. They will do anything in fear of loss or punishment. A good deal of "nice guys" too greedy to risk material loss and to afraid to stand up were the kind of people who made fascist regimes possible. A woman will find out quickly ny throwing something in his face that would take balls to answer honestly.

Girl: I love Britney Spears
Nice guy: Yeah, she's cool.
The Man: You kidding me? That's your "taste" in music?

Girl: You think that girl over there looks fat? (pointing to a girl with a physique just like her own)
Nice guy: Oh no, she looks very feminine. Not like one of these skinny supermodels
The Man: Wouldn't hurt for her to go to drop the ice cream and go to the gym

[Note in this context how "negs" are a way of passing shit test before they even get posed.
Girl: I do not know about you - are you always going out hitting on women like that?
The Man: I can't believe just said that! We are broken up (pushes her a little).
Nice guy: Oh no. I am just waiting for a friend.]

Nice guys are unjust.

By putting the woman on a pedestal, they set the bar way too high. Imagine someone you like (and who likes you) would think of you as an idealized perfect-to-the-point-of-gold-shitting, fart-less, god-like superhuman. This person thinks you are devoid of any moral failures, always charming and good looking and misses to see that there are other moments in your life, too. You want to please that person, but you know you have flaws. You know that eventually you will disappoint this person.

Sucks? Yeah, that is how it feels like for a woman with a nice guy who's emotional balance is so out of control that he becomes delusional. Even if a woman would not listen to hear instinct and go for such a nice guy, she would end up unhappy because of his exaggerated notion of what the woman he is interested in really is like.

Nice guys treat all women like whores

More so, they treat them like whores where they want to be treated as laddies (in public), and treat them as laddies where they want to be treated as whores (in the privacy of the bedroom). A woman does not want to be "bought"; she wants to conquer a desirable man. She wants to make herself pretty for him. She wants him to be choosy (which implies options - something that nice guys don't have).
Buying drinks just to have a conversation, buying movie tickets and expensive dinners just to get laid - that is the hallmark of the nice guy. Most nice guys don't leave it at that, though. Their whole way of life is geared towards paying for what women actually want to give away for free. They try to become successful in their jobs in order to make money, lots of money - because they believe that this will land them a hot chick. In a sense, they are willing to pay for a woman to become their wife.

24 comments:

  1. Any advice on how a congenital NG can overcome his niceness in dealing with females?I mean without feeling,and therefore acting,awkward?

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  2. see new post:
    http://alpha-status.blogspot.com/2009/02/curing-disease-to-please.html

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  3. "By putting the woman on a pedestal, they set the bar way too high. Imagine someone you like (and who likes you) would think of you as an idealized perfect-to-the-point-of-gold-shitting, fart-less, god-like superhuman. This person thinks you are devoid of any moral failures, always charming and good looking and misses to see that there are other moments in your life, too."

    That is called love.. should. Is that exlusive for women?

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  4. Damn, do we have to be lying, stealin' psychopaths to get laid?

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  5. Damn, do we have to be lying, stealin' psychopaths to get laid?

    No. You need to be couraged, non-needy, straightforward and healthily selfish to get girls wet. "Assertive" is the key word here.

    The cool that comes with psychopathy certainly gets guys laid, but is definitely not a requirement.

    I recommned you read the post again. I made a point about how lying is actually one the things that women despise. Paradoxically, "being nice" often amounts to a bunch of "white lies" that women look down upon.

    I also wonder where you get the idea from that "stealing" would be something women like. Usually the opposite is the case - they tend to leave all kinds of shit at your place "by accident".
    ;-p

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  6. "You need to be couraged, non-needy, straightforward and healthily selfish to get girls wet."

    That's nice in my book, boys. And I'm a healthy, straightforward, non-needy woman. Yes, and single too. And yes, I can get it, I do get it, and I have a choice of it as well. I don't take or give money for it, either.

    Your post makes nice guys sound like complete dickheads who should jump off the nearest cliff if they can't become ... what? I'm not even sure.

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  7. "In a sense, they are willing to pay for a woman to become their wife."

    Holy SHIT! That's exactly what I think. Oh crap.

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  8. So nice guys are Beta, yet Alpha males are superior? Not really. Depends what you mean. I'm a nice guy, and I worked 2 jobs to work and support my family and child. Needless to say, I'm a little tired after work and dont always offer her the dog and pony show, so sex lost the romance. Of course, the predatory Alpha male comes along and she goes for him. He ends up leaving her for another girl, and now shes back. Im only going to stay with her because of our child. She is a needy, selfish bitch who needs to much attention.Ive tried to explain to jer the "players only give her what she wants because they want sex". How guilible women are, and so weak. Anyways, I will stick through for my child. If my fia needs that excitement and attention the bad boy alpha male gives,and she should get a hobby or read a romance novel. Im to tired half the time being a man in the real world, and I only have the time for a lttle foreplay and sex. BTW, she said sex with me is amazing, but lacks passion and romance. Anyways, this other douchbag was able to give that to her. So I find this guy at a local nightclub and confront him. I end up knocking him down, and my foots on his chest as he's looking up at me. Whos the Alpha male now? All you so called Alpha males. Unless you can kick my ass in a fight, you will never be the Alpha male. Doesnt get more real than that.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know who you are but if everything you said is true, that is a really awesome story. I used to be somewhat of a nice guy but nobody really is. We all have shades of gray. This pseudo-Hollywood-bullshit of what women want us to be is getting on my fucking nerves. Real men get fucked over. If you don't believe me, just ask my poor father. Women can be pure fucking evil. Forget being nice to them because they complain about us guys all of the time when they are way more sexist and self entitled. None of those macho men my mother went out to fuck ever stayed around but she tried to convince me how amazing they were all of the time. Even if your wife is a fucking horrible bitch who can't appreciate a real man and runs after chimps with dicks, I want to let you know I respect you.

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  9. I think far too often 'Nice Guys' are simply defined by their interactions with women. I think this causes some confusion, because usually their 'niceness' is pigeonholed into a sexual problem. It's deeper than that.

    'Nice Guys' should probably aptly be called meek, and in my estimation are most people. It's an easy crowd to disappear in.

    Having been one, and knowing several, it's important to remember men have to deal with them just as much as women. One of my employees is a 'Nice Guy'. He clearly sees me as some perpetual problem, and delights at notifying me of anything I may miss, always when it's insignificant and easy to solve. This is called 'passive aggressive' behavior. He doesn't like me as his boss so he constructs a world in his head where he can stand up to me but it only escapes his brain as sarcasm and awkwardness.

    I'm not going to fire him. He does solid work, or rather consistent work, because he shows no energy in expanding his horizons. He also doesn't realize that his negative attitude towards me isn't what I judge him on. That's why I'm in charge and he isn't. Unlike him I'll stand up for the good work of a less than perfect person, and I won't take shit from anyone regardless of who they are.

    This is all very similar to the behavior they, and he, displays around women. He silently shoots himself when he says he feels it's his job to advise me. Advise? Advising is my job. His job is listening, just as I listen to my employers.

    He will sometimes be bold enough to come all the way to my office. When he opens his mouth out come sheepish digs at my character, then he quietly returns to the work that makes him so frustrated.

    'That guy, that guy who is frustrated by everything, he's the guy I want in charge'. Except I've been at this a while and I've never heard that one. Funny. If you spend your time trying to unearth my motivations as your boss, try to second guess my every move, it's not a #winning strategy.

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  10. I work with Alpha type males. I am somewhere between. What I notice with the Alpha males is they seem irresponsible. That don't take the job seriously, and are often changing jobs often. Then there is the child support part, most have obligations they run from, and try to avoid.

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  11. Yeah I can find myself a few times in this article but for the most part I think its a bit over the top. I'm a nice guy, and I do get frustrated. What I'm starting to think is that most women at my age prefer being taken advantage of/ want sex from men who don't care about them and that's something I cant give to them easily. I have a big heart that acts also as a large target which is a personal problem.
    I have plenty of alpha friends and coworkers who are very much different from me in this way. It doesn't keep me from thinking their nice guys though. It's weird how people have to make the distinction between beta and alpha as "nice and (okay what were you saying alpha are)".
    Alphas can be kind gents too.

    Anyways, I get frustrated way too easily and I think fundamentally that is my biggest problem. Working on taking it easy and not giving a crap is my main priority. But is it so unnatural too be pissed when a girl invites you hang out and cancels 3 times? Anyone would be pissed. I guess the difference is letting people know.

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  12. Im completely new to all this. In the big bad world it would probably wreck me to hear these things, behind the safety of my computer I can handle it. Its quite obvious to me Ive got "nice guy syndrome" the fact I can change that is genuinely giving me a huge rush. Ive been reading up a lot on Game, and loads of links to other sites. I can see the light, and the great thing is I feel Ive got huge capacity to change. I dont look like the little wimpy guy, but the bottom line is Im acting like him. I salute you in the Game community! Its time to fuckin shine!

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  13. Nice guys are manipulative and many times ignorant to it. I was. Problem is you differentiate between nice guys and jerks, but approach women as being...just women. Aren't there nice girls and jerkettes? We aren't primates. We're humans with one very significant trait that animals do not posses: a soul. Also, just like there are meeker males, there are females who find them attractive. You're position only works if women are all the same.

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  14. Show that ALL women fit your definition of "a woman" and your argument will be valid.

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  15. Wow, well written. Got to agree.

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  16. As a woman I have to agree with a lot of this article. I've found myself in a situation in which "a nice guy" was incredibly manipulative to the point where if they got their way, it would amount to pity-sex... not attractive. The most attractive guys to me aren't necessarily alphas, but they have to have the balls to challenge me because I can be extrememly bull-headed. If your arguement is well-considered and intelligent, that's way sexier than any bad boy's 6-pack that he's showing off on his harley.

    I also don't understand men's woes of "being friendzoned." Just because women like you enough to hang out with you on a regular basis, that does not entitle you to get into their panties should the occassion arise. If a woman is friends with you, knowing full well how available you are, then she's not attracted to you and it isn't a fault of hers. Either take advantage of the opportunity to learn about women from women or gtfo, nobody likes a sore loser.

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  17. NiceGuys™ and assholes are not just two sides to the same coin. While they may have similarities, the nice guy is not willing to resort to sociopathic behaviour in order to achieve his goals.

    The NiceGuy™ is fiercely loyal to his ideal of a "good man" and this is a very admirable trait, the problem is that he usually associates "sexual expression" with "being an asshole" since his idea of what a"good man" is has been screwed up somehow.

    If we want to bring "real men" back, we need to teach our young men how to become them.

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  18. I think we should all stop giving women rockstar status just because they have a vagina. I think it's really gone to their heads. "Alpha" male.. doesn't mean a damn thing. Lucky enough to maybe be a little better at sex? That might even be a stretch depending on who you're talking to. "Nice" guys.. played out term used by women to describe their own hang-ups. Idiots ones that is. There's a wide range of people out there, not all of them see life as most of you simpletons do.

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  19. It's funny how alpha people are always in such need to put down and degrade the betas. I figure they're probably so happy with their own lives, screwing other tools girlfriends, to have time to write an essay on what they know not. What is it? Some form of moronic charity that serves only to make society even more mentally challenged. Girls, if you're unhappy with your nice guys.. start saying it or talk a fucking walk. I'm sure you'll find plenty of tools to buy ya drinks. Alpha males.. start living.. go out and fuck. Don't concern yourselves with us lesser human beings. In fact, take your advice and have the bitch shove it up your ass before you nut on her face. After all, you're surely very happy with how things have turned out with your own life.

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  20. I'm pretty sure a "laddie"...is not a "lady"...there, laddie...

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  21. So as a woman I'm supposed to like a man who is overly critical of my musical tastes and my body? So I guess women like to be mistreated? I'm a woman and I don't get it. I prefer a man to be nice and submissive. I still don't fall in love with any man (I don't deem them worthy of such a thing) but sexually I am a dominant women and prefer nice, submissive men.

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  22. Guys, there is no secret to anything involving the relationship between men and women. Get it, there is no magic book, no clever theory, no set of rules, dos and donts that you follow in order to "score" with the other sex. Thinking it is like this is your whole problem in the first place, and it is exactly this attitude that rings all alarm bells with any sane person regardless of their sex. You simply lack common sense. If you suspect women to "test" you, if you differentiate between "alphas" and "betas", trying to learn the "alphas" secret to success, you simply try to rationalize your own personal shortcomings and character flaws that are so blatantly obvious to sane persons, looking for the easy explanation, that the cause is not you yourself but other people and of course the bad, bad, unfair world in general.

    Real persons are simple, upright, integer, sane. We don't have to ask ourselves constantly what we might be doing wrong or right in a social context, how to do it, what the secret is, we just feel what's right and wrong without ever having to rationalize about it.

    If you think you have to learn "body language", pickup lines, do instant analysis of every conversation in terms of "tests", "secret hints", "comeons" in order to "play the dating game" you've already lost. There is no such game, no secret conspiracy, there was no "Dating 101" nobody told you about back at highschool because those alpha jerks thought you were "too nice" and thus a threat to their success.

    We (the real people) smell you phony idiots at once. We get that the term "Nice Guy" describes an utterly insecure, manipulative asshole who is ultimately and utterly clueless about what the real problem is: himself. A "Nice guy" is not someone who is "too good for this world", a victim of the conspiracy of the "alpha crowd", who only doesn't get laid because "women love jerks", he is a loser who isn't even strong enough to admit that he is a loser, but instead spends his whole life projecting his own shortcomings onto the world and the people around him, constantly whining and feeling sorry for himself. Isn't it obvious that this is the opposite of sexy?

    Simply put, there is no need whatsoever to build up an elaborate theory about this whole topic (other than selling false hope to losers for the profit), because looking for a theory behind all this is the problem in the first place.

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