Friday, February 6, 2009

Nonverbal Seduction

Is it possible to meet a woman, not speak a single word with her and have sex with her the very same day/night?

This is not as much of an unusual situation as you might think. People who travel a lot and expats to non-English speaking countries often face this problem.
And many will be surprised by how easy it is (my personal record was less then 15 minutes from bar to bedroom).

Given the common misconceptions about how selective women are in deciding on whom to sleep with, it is mind blowing that you do not even need to speak to them to get them to forget all the usual caveats about being a slut/ in danger / irresponsible for walking home with a guy they don't know.

The reason nonverbal pickup is possible (and surprising to the average male) is nicely summarized in this cartoon:








Women do not just communicate with words (and if they do they are masters of innuendos, double meanings and reading between the lines).

Men do not just communicate with words either, but they are less aware of it.

In a sense, men are more pronounced in sending out nonverbal signals (men are distributors), while women are more sensitive in reading them (women are receivers).

This principle is so powerful that it is often not despite the lack of spoken words that a woman will follow you to your bedroom, but because of it. Words distract (mostly the males) from what is actually going on.

So, what is actually going on?

Actors are very aware of the fact that the number one piece of information we communicate (usually subconsciously) non-verbally is our status.

It gets (dis)played through channels such as "posture, gesture, vocal tone, amount of space one's own body commands", to name just a few.

Women are very responsive to the status conveyed through these actions. Women (as all females in social species) seek high status males, and they have highly evolved mechanisms to detect these rare individuals.

Interestingly, though, they are often unaware of what it is that they perceive and how they react to it. When asked, they will often backwards rationalize what caused their attraction.

Here is one interesting example.

I have been recommended to watch/analyze this chick flick by a woman who said "she never felt so attracted to a man before". I do believe that chick flicks offer lots of (hidden) cues as to what is attractive to women - as long as one keeps the caveat in mind that they usually cater to the more beta male-oriented long term dating strategy rather than the alpha-induced short term mating strategy of same night sex.

The reason that chick flicks can be interesting nonetheless is that the ultimate female fantasy is that she can unite these opposing desires inside of her by beta-izing an alpha male. While movies cannot depict female desire to the same degree as women under circumstances of extreme anonymity, they do (need to) make use of everything that triggers female attraction, and often exaggerate it to turn the main guy into the literal uber-alpha (a "superstimulus").

The movie I am introducing here is doing just that.

Study this short scene - it starts with the first encounter with the uber-alpha (who happens to be a male escort, hence already owns the ultimate pre-selection/social proof). As always, I recommend watching the movie snippets on mute before watching them with the sound on.

4 comments:

  1. Interesting to watch movies with the sound off, very good way of mastering body language.

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  2. thanks, very informative!

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