Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Resisting De-sexualization

I got inspired by stage two's post on "collaborative text gaming". The basic idea is that you work with your wings on your text responses to achieve ultimate effect. Someone unaffected is always better at game. Plus, one can learn from someone else's text game.

So, in the spirit of things - here is a little chapter of my diary (I kept track of myapproaches ever since I started out in the community; it is agreat way to learn from your own mistakes; it's also fucking amusing to go back and read about the early days. Yes, I actually did magic tricks at the bar). I agree with roissy that women need way more asshole-game these days. As more guys learned how to game, woman have adapted and now will shit test harder and harder to sort through the surge of fake-alphas.

The example below is pure text game. There was no phone call between initial hello and full close. Not a single line of the dialogue got edited, or left out. This is an ideal setting for studying female attraction and sexuality since side factors such as tonality and body language can be ruled out (apart from the initial approach, of course).

I added some comments of mine (in italics), but I invite you to use the discussion section to add further comments. What can be learned from my mistakes (and what ultimately worked)? Don't hesitate to be harsh in your critique!

Note that I am by no means a master at text game. The hard part is to not fall for a woman's shit tests and/or anti-slut defense.
Women will always de-sexualize the conversation, yet only sexualized text will get you somewhere.
If you wonder how far one can push it - ultimate text game mastery can be learned here.

Basic setting/Approach:
Friday night. I am with friends drunk at a bar. Everyone is dancing. I grab a girl (petite SE Asian) by her hands, spin her around, let her go and pull her in again. Eventually, I do my version of "The Pretzel" (most versions are lame; this one here is similar to the one I do where she ends up right in front of you with your arms around her chest) and she immediately starts grinding. We keep on dancing for a while until she goes in for the first makeout. I leave it at that. As the bar closes, I #-close and watch in amazement as she grabs a black dude who danced with her before and walks home (supposedly her friend and designated driver - yeah, right).

Tuesday night:
ME: Remember last Friday? There is something I forgot to tell you... :)
[
lame re-opener, but never fails to work; it is not overly lengthy=needy and women love to hear more about themselves]

Wednesday morning:
HER: what you forgot to tell me??
[it took her that long to come up with that? oh well...]

Wednesday afternoon:
ME: You have to be alone when I tell you - you will blush! :)
[
somewhat lame sexualization attempt; open loop]

Wednesday night:
HER: quit teasing me and just say it. unless it's dirty, then keep it to yourself.
[
de-sexualization = shit test]
ME: I only talk dirt when the mood is right. It's funny. You have a sense of humor, right?
[
I should have ignored her shit test; qualifying her might have saved me; I keep the open loop]
HER: yes...so what is it?
[
good. she qualified]
ME: Well, I totally wanted to see you again, but then I saw you walk home with that drunk guy - I cried all night! :-p
[
risky move, but now we're talking]
HER: i bet u spent hours thinking that one up huh?
[
shit test = I am in]
ME: Hours? Days! I hired an advertising company to help me out on this one. It had to be timed well. I used a fortune teller for that purpose. Did it work?
[
exagerating was a weak way of handling the shit test; the question at the end sounds AFC; but I needed an open loop]
HER: aww. u did all that for me? so it was a joke and it didn't reall bother u that i went home with some other drunk guy?
[
she is qualifying me for casual sex]
ME: I didn't just to it for you. I send a mass SMS to all girls in the area. :-p And well, I pitied you a little for that drunk guy, but I like girls who are not hung up so you gained points.
[
weakest text so far; what could I have done better at this point?]

Thursday morning:
HER: u know what ...ur'e an ass!
[
I love when women call me that; it means I will get laid]
ME: Why do you hurt my feelings? :(
[
This one is a well tried and working response of mine to this particular shit test]
HER: u started it with your mean comment. why would you say that to me?
[
de-sexualization attempt; note that an AFC might take her serious at that point, apologize - and thereby get LJBF'ed]
ME: Be honest- do you even remember me? I really liked you.
[
Passed shit test by ignoring it. The second sentence was unneccessary]
HER: of course. you're that crazy white guy from the club who i never got a name from.

Thursday afternoon:
ME: Hahahahaha. Crazy I am. And I think I told you I am XXXXXX. My name is XXXXXX. And you are afraid of XXXXX. Still think I am an ass?
[
weak, this could have done way better]
HER: a little, but you can always make it up to me.
[
she is done shit testing; now she wants big daddy bad]
ME: I can be nice if you deserve it. Any ideas of a good make-up?
[
second sentence weak; but a truy for an open loop]
HER: u're a big boy...i'll let u figure something out ;-)
[
she's dripping]

Friday afternoon:
ME: I have an idea. We should meet and I will whisper it in your ear. And how did you find out that I'm a big boy: :-p
[
again, last sentence was too much]
HER: you're so dirty...i don't know if i want u whispering anything in my ear
[
de-sexualization; the new day brings one more shit test]
ME: How about you buy me a scoop of HaagenDasz in downtown XXXXX to make up for calling me names all the time? :)
[
ultimate turning point; this should end her shit tests for good]
HER: you think you're so slick don't you. so when are u buying me icecream?
[
very weak from her side; I won the battle]
ME: you can get a milkshake. Do you live close to XXXXX?
[
from now on it is just logistics; no more need for game]
HER: I live in XXXXXX
ME: Why don't you take the bus and come out here before going out?
HER: to XXXXX?
ME: I'll get you at the bus stop
HER: can't believe u're making me go all the way out there. when?
ME: Right away. You are not the kind of girl who needs to style herself up to look pretty... :)
HER: u're damn straight, i look good all the time, haha! but i gotta finish dinner, i'll call u when i'm close?


6 comments:

  1. heres an idea:

    HER: aww. u did all that for me? so it was a joke and it didn't reall bother u that i went home with some other drunk guy?

    YOU: you chicks, always trying to get a guy jealous, I have to watch how much I drink around you.


    Please keep these coming, every chick I meet attempts de-sexualization and it usually triggers teasing about her being sexually judgemental. I know its because of my overt kino and sometimes overt sexual frame.

    Also, IMHO shit/congruency tests are never over. Ever. It takes more energy out of people who are gaming the chick but it works for them to weed out for alphas.

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  2. As the bar closes, I #-close and watch in amazement as she grabs a black dude who danced with her before and walks home

    This behavior is one of the ultimate sins a woman can commit onto me, and is a definite red light to play the battle according to machiavelli's rules. I'll be nice, I'll be the asshole, in a game where I was given permission for dishonesty.

    Having said that,

    You demonstrated alpha behavior, but was outed by someone she perceived as more attractive for the night... He could really be more alpha, or just could be more dumb, i.e. fitting a ONS profile.. or, she just wanted to go black...

    The manly way you opened the interaction gave you a lot of advantage later.

    What also helped was that you were not answering the messages in time. She was playing the busy game, and so were you.

    In the end, you got the close, though I think it is more due to the first impressions than the strength of the messages.

    I never use the smiley anymore, only the ;) when necessary, as anything "cute" or "nice" has been backfiring in the last year or so. The change is immense.

    Good analysis though, as we need more of these.

    The messages are a good mix of push pull, never telling where you stand. Let her suffer, till the only way to know is when you sex her.

    Things I've noticed works:

    Calling a woman cute
    Saying she is sexually stuck up, or bigoted
    Saying I thought she was sexually non judgmental
    Saying cheers to strong independent women (though these are the worst for LTR)
    Having the "whatever" attitude
    Sadly, when writing a message, "I dont fucking care" i the attitude which has given me the gems of success...
    Entertaining myself throughout the interaction.

    Anyway, a woman pulls that on me, she shoots her in her own foot in regards with me.

    There are two women right now, solid 8s who did that, who would date me given some warming up time, but they are god for nothing other than getting F&C'ed.

    About SMS collaboration, many of my friends deleted their versions to write mine with success.

    The best thing about your sms's were you were not needy. Took your time, played your game. And won...

    Too many smileys man, just to many....

    Try ... instead of :) :-) :P :-P, watch the change.

    New rule: 1 smiley for three sms's

    Let her guess.

    Don't back down.

    The funny in cocky in funny is not a smiley.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Green light... Not red...

    ReplyDelete
  4. The funny in cocky in funny is not a smiley.

    Good point.

    I think I picked that up at some point since chicks didn't get when I threw in some dry/sarcastic remarks without a bunch of winks around it.

    dishonesty..."whatever" attitude... Entertaining myself [at her/someone else's expense]
    Yep, those are the very character traits that women select for... Until she gets old and unattractive and suddenly realizes that she needs a "nice guy" she can present to mommy and daddy.

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  5. I think I picked that up at some point since chicks didn't get when I threw in some dry/sarcastic remarks without a bunch of winks around it.

    Hahahaha.... That made me laugh as "sarcastic" and "dry" humor are the main claimed humor types women claim to have...

    "You know I have a strange sense of humor"... bla bla bla....

    You are right, that is where I used the mileys to, I just noticed that without smileys they may misunderstand, and the drama that ensures is more effective than my excellent joke.

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  6. it's great that you just post the txts without editing. this is very interesting.

    below are some thoughts on the txts that i would have felt insecure sending. (this doesn't mean i think they weren't good. after all they ended up working. i'm just trying to understand what effect they may have had...)

    "ME: Well, I totally wanted to see you again, but then I saw you walk home with that drunk guy - I cried all night! :-p
    [risky move, but now we're talking]"
    here i would feel that despite the funny frame there is too much exhibition of potential weakness: you want her, are insecure about that guy, crying... of course, it's all ironic and that's obvious. but you wouldn't want her imagining you in that role. perhaps it didn't hurt, because your joke here just reaffirms that the truth is the opposite. nevertheless: you're admitting you remember that guy she left with and that it's still on your mind. why mention that?

    "HER: u know what ...ur'e an ass!
    [I love when women call me that; it means I will get laid]"
    this is a critical point. she may be serious here. nevertheless it simultaneously works as a shit test. justification would kill your chances instantly.

    "ME: Why do you hurt my feelings? :(
    [This one is a well tried and working response of mine to this particular shit test]"
    interesting response! at face value it implies "i am not an asshole and hurt when called one", but it is encoded enough to leave things ambiguous. there is irony (for her asshole-craving sex module) and material for her to make up an excuse for you (for her nice-guy-liking self).

    "ME: Be honest- do you even remember me? I really liked you.
    [Passed shit test by ignoring it. The second sentence was unneccessary]"
    "be honest" cuts the crap. "do you even remember me?" is not very alpha -- given that you and i know she must have remembered you.
    if this were a 9, then this might backfire badly, since the idea that she might forget you would be less obviously false.

    the "i really liked you" is completely serious. this shows weakness (you like her) and strength (you're not afraid to show weakness) and may be key to motivating her investment.

    "ME: How about you buy me a scoop of HaagenDasz in downtown XXXXX to make up for calling me names all the time? :)
    [ultimate turning point; this should end her shit tests for good]"
    i'm beginning to like your "stop hurting me" response to her calling you on your asshole moves.

    perhaps the thing to be is the sensitive asshole: shitting on others, but touchy and hurt when called on it. this is very funny.

    i'd like to read more of your txt game.

    ReplyDelete