Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Learning the Truth About Women - Who profits from it and How?

"Men face a situation new to human history. Never before have men wooed women who are, at least theoretically, their equals—socially, professionally, and sexually."

Women and men alike agree with the above statement.

The implications this had on men (and their dating lives) these days are fascinating - and problematic.

"Contrary to the conventional wisdom ... women’s sexual nature, not men’s, is the wilder of the two..., save for ... controls that put the brakes on female sexuality through the consequences of shaming, accidental pregnancy and potential out-of-wedlock destitution."

Freed from the latter (and never learning any emotional control, especially when itc comes to sex, since society still assumes that this is required for males only), women now are not entering pre-arranged or out-of-necessity marriages any more. They now have "free choice" over the men they would like to date. And so they do. Problem is, they all want the same few guys!

The result is that what used to be (more or less) even chances for guys, now is skewed for the few among us who get to enjoy massive femal attraction (which is a classic positive feedback loop):

"Female cultural equality = male dating inequality."

It follows that the main impact of birth control, socioeconomic parity and the liberalization of cultural norms was that most guys are off the mating market while a small collection of "alpha' guys get (even) more women than before in history.

Women, on the other hand, will celebrate a dickfest throughout their twenties, chasing those few men that all the other girls want, too. Women commonly fail to realize that the fact that all the other girls want these guys, too, will leave them without a committed relationship.
It is not until the social pressure and the wear'n'tear of age set in that women start to reflect on their often more than decade long history of "falling for assholes". As a a result, they will now actively seek out the guys that were left in the shadows before in order to "settle".

Interestingly, there was a reaction to this social shift in mating behavior of women.

It is no surprise that it was initiated by guys since a vast majority of them was left puzzled about their complete and utter lack of success in finding and keeping a woman - any woman. To put it in the words of the master:

"Since men are the chosen in the mating dance, they have to be more aware of reality than do women. If men ignore reality, they risk involuntary celibacy. If a woman looks attractive (which is most of them during their prime fertile years), she can ignore reality to her heart’s content as unicorns and rainbows shower her in cellophane raindrops and still have suitors lined up around the block to fuck her."

What followed is a classic example of reverse engineering. The men who were left behind started studying the few guys who somehow managed to get all female attention. They used the internet to accumulate and discuss their insights, and soon it became clear that "classic dating advice" was not only flawed, but fundamentally opposed to what "actually works": Game, aka doing what alpha males do (the good, the bad and the ugly).

Note that the wisdom on how to attract and keep women has been around for a long time. However, it was unspoken, written between lines, barely hinted at, and hidden from the masses (for good reason).

How has the increasingly public knowledge about the true nature of female desire changed the scene? Has it had an impact at all? Will it have an impact on our society in the long run?

This a very interesting topic to muse about.

My guess is the following:

Omega males will remain omegas.
The vast majority of these guys will not profit from game, at all. The reasons for this are manifold:

- Omegas have given up.
Omegas found ways around sexuality. They lead happy lives in celibacy, essentially remaining boys in their peer groups, playing computer games and dreaming up fantasy worlds for the rest of their lives. The psychological strain of celibacy is not enough for omegas. They simply are not interested in women any more, and therefore are not interested in learning how to game.

- Omegas are too far from the ideal. Turning an omega guy into a congruent alpha is an inhumane task. The effort it takes to de-program a brain awash with "don't bite me" attitude, Madonna/Whore syndrome to the extend that "only mom was a worthy woman" and supplication/chivalry or one-itis/love confusions is too much to tackle in most cases. Even if an omega would try, all odds are against him. Plus, he secretly enjoys to fail (again).

- Omegas (might) have not suffered from the societal change of "liberated" women. Omegas have always been on the short end of the stick. If they happend to get a partner/spouse it is because the woman is nerdy, fat, ugly herself or something else has happened to her that disqualifies her from the regular mating market such as being very old an ex-hooker or diseased. The world has not changed around omegas, so they have no inclination to change either.

Beta males will profit the most.
My prediction is that it is most and foremost betas, who use "game" or "PUA tactics" to rectify their disadvantage in the mating game.

- Betas have some alpha qualities already (hence they are not omegas)

- A large fraction of Betas are smart, well educated middle class males who get outdone in the hunt for poon by rowdy, tattoo'ed low class thugs (the middle class women I know have no inhibitions fucking drug dealers and/or guys who went to prison). There simply is a trade off between time spent in the lecture hall and time spent at bars selling drugs when it comes to getting "street smart". It is this intellectual capacity (and knowledge of the internet) that will these beta males to absorb the knowledge that is neccessary to "score".

- High ranking Betas are the ultimate dream of any woman. These men are as close as reality can get to the unachievable unity of Provider/Lover that women dream up in their romance (novels). Any alpha skill will propel a beta into higher desirability, while keeping all lights in her her rational mind on green: this guy wets pussy AND can be introduced to parents! Swooooon...

Alphas will profit little to none
Alpha males are good with women anyway - because they do game naturally.

A human silverback has hundreds of women within a few decades of his life. No need to up that number. As a matter of fact, a "natural" alpha might lose his ability to attract when reading about "game" women by becoming conscious of what he is doing. It's like a pianist starting to wonder what each of his fingers is doing whilst playing Rachmaninoff (There is a guy I know who went down this route, saddly).

(According to credible sources) Lesser alphas still have "some room to grow", and hence can add some (conscious) tricks to their innate or learned ability to make pussy drip.


If and how much guys benefit from learning how to "game" a woman properly will depend on where there status is in the first place. There is a continuum between omega and alpha, and the benefit function follows a bell shaped-distribution, with "benefit-through-game" on the y-axis and "alpha-ness" on the x-axis:

If and how this effect will penetrate the population as a whole is questionable.

Yet, the same is true for feminism and any other (platonic) idea/meme. It often takes only a subset of a society to take on a new meme/norm to change the whole, so there is a chance that the expanding knowledge on female sexuality will have an impact in the long run. It might not be for the better - there are indications that give room to concern.


  1. That blog post from no ma'am would be in the group of "Top ten posts about sexuality", if I had to name few. That graph, I dunno if it was done by no ma'am, is in all senses beautiful.

    It is not until the social pressure and the wear'n'tear of age set in that women start to reflect on their often more than decade long history of "falling for assholes".I really would not put too much emphasis on social pressure, as that is countered by sex and city media.

    What is more important is that past 25, they start to notice that the jocks who were actually chasing them two three years ago do not show as much interest as then anymore. It is a subtle change, but it gets noticed.

    After seeing the jocks they previously had for free bangs get committed to younger girls or continue the bangfest - again with younger girls - they realize they need a man "to take care of me" (actual told words)...

    That is when they switch.

    Few lucky ones still get a jock to commit, but as jocks are few and far in between, this is a rarity.

    Social pressure is just an excuse to cover the panic felt by the stud just ignoring them and going for the 22 year old perky nursing student who was just standing behind her.

    Note that the wisdom on how to attract and keep women has been around for a long time. However, it was unspoken, written between lines, barely hinted at, and hidden from the masses (for good reason).In high school, age 15, a senior of me told me "You fuck them they love you, you love them they fuck you".....

    My mother: Dont hurt women... My father: No useful adviced except "be careful", "dont take a virginity" (I learned more from his behavior tho)... My aunts: "women are flowers"... Media/Movies/songs: Love... Angels... Heaven... Bla bla bla...

    It took me first 10 years to get what my senior mentor meant. Then I forgot it. took me another 5 to re-remember that.

    "you fuck them, they love you; you love them, they fuck you"...

    funny thing is this was said for women supposedly living in a patriarchy...

    And this sentence, had been one of the few times somebody told me stuff like that before I was 25... the age when I was banging around but seeing something was wrong, and wondering if it was me... (i.e.: why do I get laid when I am an arrogant prick... Nevermind, just continue)

    My best example of bad advice was... I though women were emotional, after a two years relationship ten years ago... Two months, I approached 80 or so girls with a version of, "you look interesting. I would like to get to know you"... Success rate : 0%

    Later, many times, when a girl would bump into me I used "Watch it"... Success rate ~50%

    There is a reason you get jaded.

    You see that respecting a female human being doe get you punished (as defined by you), and disrespect gets rewarded.

    An extension to this paragraph:
    The jadedness is basically an adaptation to achieve constant reward.

  2. Nice post. But life is complex and people don’t fall into nice and neat categories such as “alpha” and “omega.” I am not sure that celibacy is equivalent to being “omega.” Based on that definition, men such as Jesus and Isaac Newton would have been considered “omega.”

    The guys in that picture do look goofy. I assume they are part of some sort of acting group? Of course, Johhny Depp is a slight man that acts goofy at times, but he seems to do OK.

    Is the approval of women the greatest value? Or might there be higher values rather than desperately trying to win the approval (emotional or sexual) of women? I am not sure I can considered a man to be “alpha” if he is so obsessed with the approval of women that he is willing to give up his hobbies that a woman may deem as “omega.”

  3. "Note that the wisdom on how to attract and keep women has been around for a long time. However, it was unspoken, written between lines, barely hinted at, and hidden from the masses (for good reason)."Perhaps this isnt the best place to ask,but I cant resist.Years ago,reading a PUA article who's author I've forgotten (I somehow think it was D.Dangelo),whoever it was made reference to a book about women that cost him $1000.It proved to be worth every penny spent.I've been curious about finding the title and author of that book,even if I cant afford to buy it.Does anyone hear know of such a work?Do any of these details ring a bell in the back of someone's mind.Any info on rare and very hard to get books on these and similar topics would be much appreciated.

  4. @RAMZPAULlife is complex

    Yes, life is complex.

    However, it is far less so once you uncover some of the (often rather simple) rules governing it.

    Women choosing men (for sex) using their social status more than anything else is one of these neat little insights that science provides us with to help reduce the complexity of our experience.

    people don’t fall into nice and neat categories such as “alpha” and “omega.As I outlined at the end of the post, there is a continuum between these labels. In previous posts I have linked to the rank distributions found among other primates, and how they relate to mating success. No reason to believe we are any different.And if there is anything such as social status or mating success, men will be ordered along this dimension by definition. Whether or not, or to what degree this is a continuum or discreet is an interesting question.

    There is some evidence that women do not perceive male rank as a continuum, but rather discretize men into "interesting", "maybe interesting" and "uninteresting".

    (Mathematically this can easily be achieved by taking the bell curve I plotted on the bottom of my post, transfer it to a cumulative "S-shaped" function, and apply some more or less arbitrary threshold criteria.)

    Such non-linearities in a woman's judgment of a man's attractiveness will cause categories (such as the one I used above), indeed.

    Or to cut it short - if you truly doubt that there are omega males, go to the next bar and play "Fuck, Marry, Kill" with some of the women there. You'll be amazed.

    The guys in that picture do look goofy.Anyone who's been to an American college recently can assure you that this is a typical sample of a certain population of guys who spend most of their lifetime playing fantasy role and online games.

    Would you be surprised if I told you that the other one thing they have in common is that they all are twenty-something year old virgins?

    Would you be surprised if I told you the same about the guys in the other pictures?

    Johhny Depp is a slight man that acts goofy at times, but he seems to do OK.I doubt he would ever put a cardboard box on his head and get photographed with a bunch of nerds who think they are "funny".

    It is an interesting observation, actually, that childish "goofyness" is not the kind of humor women prefer. they laugh about it, yet it disqualifies guys as fuck material. Many PUAs learn that the hard way. Women do get turned on by sarcasm. Especially when the joke calls them out on something.

    Is the approval of women the greatest value?

    Bedding many young beautiful women is rewarding and hence of value for men who follow a hedonistic life style. Other than that - people value all kinds of different things.

    It is worth pointing out, however, that many actions that men do apart from sex are (unconsciously) motivated to achieve just that.

    Men seek to become powerful, rich, elites in their jobs and society - because their brains tell them that this is a way to get high quality mates to take up your sperm.

    Even hobbies can be seen as a way to become more eccentric - and therefore more interesting to the female half of humanity.

    For many men these things tend to take on a life on their own, and they get obsessed with their job, hobbies etc., thereby failing to "reap what they sow".

    Our brains have not evolved to monitor the baby making process from beginning to end. It just makes a crave the circumstances that can lead there. Birth control, workaholism and obscure obsessions are all examples of things that get in the way of the original intention of our brains to become "interesting men", mate high quality women and create high quality offspring.

  5. i've got a couple of friends/wingmen who've racked up double digits, and one in college who'd already knocked out over a 100 girls. but for the few I know, there's countless guys who've been with a handful of chicks, or even none. depressing. i continually tell my friends that the lack of game so many guys have simply makes it much easier.

  6. 11 minutes,

    This is "z" from over at Roissy's.

    Here is my quick take on the present and future of m/f social dynamics, tell me what you think:

    Women no longer need men to have kids. The state and some poor schmuck's child support/alimony payments will keep her in style while she raises his kids. Married women can fuck around on a guy all they want and unless they get pregnant with a red-headed or some guy of another race's baby, the husband who shows up at the hospital pretty much has to pay for that kid for the next 18 years. Women therefore dont need men to fufill THE MOST PRIMAL URGE THERE IS, to have a couple of children (which also makes her own parents happy).

    Now that men and women meet in singles bars, men have come up with "game" to make themselves more attractive by playing on women's innate status obsessions, and innovators like Roissy have come up with long-term-game, but trust me on this, its not fullproof. Because of age and many professional aquaintances, Ive seen men who were much more alpha (bigger, better looking) than the "silverback" you have pictured above, get treated like dogshit by their pretty wives. The wives know they can take the man's kids, half his possessions, about 40% of his income at any time, so 6 or 8 years into the marriage they start treating him like hell after baby #2 is born. One of these guys was about 6'4 and 275 lbs of pure muscle with a better face than Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, the young Tom Cruise, or Christopher Reeve in the Superman era. He was a pure genetic stud, and Ive had to shower with him at the gym and can assure you he was hung like a donkey. Ive seen his now-ex-wife (about a 9) bitch him out utterly and totally with no respect at all in front of several of us. This happened 2 different times, once because she was merely mad that he forgot to get her a paper cup at a company event. She had him by the balls and she knew it. Even this silverback alpha with jet-black hair and ice-blue-eyes, built like "the Rock", high-earning, erudite, and athletic, can be treated like dogshit by a woman in her late 20's who has still kept her looks.

    Here is what I think will "break" women from the advantages that they have in our economy as it is now (******* more on the demise of the girl economy in a sec):

    Human cloning and artifical wombs. Both of these advances are supposed to be doable in less than a couple of decades. When a man can go to a lab, drop off some sperm, and return in 9 months to pick up a couple of babies that are legally "his" no matter what, men will be utterly, totally, and completely differnent about women even from their teen years. The reason what men revere women psychologically is that they desperately need one to have a family, pleasing his parents and grandparents, brothers or sisters with new relatives. Women no longer need men to do this, they can just go "get pregnant" from some random guy and still get the economic and social support they need from the courts and government to keep the kids and chase a variety of men. Men cannot do that, but they are going to be able to in a few more years.

    This will monkey-wrench the living shit out of the current situation where men have to game dip-shit unread, status-obsessed, double-digit IQ'ed-child-bearing aged barbies whom they have no personal respect for whatsoever. Then it will be a onus upon females to see how much they can impress males, to whether he'd like to allow her to live in his home and have her around HIS kids.

    ****** The coming collapse of the girl economy. In the past 25 years we have seen endless factory closures in America. This has slammed men about 8 or 9 times as bad as women. We have also seen illegals come in and take jobs like carpentry, brick laying, roofing, foundation work, landscaping and a few others away from males due to their willingness to work literally for mininum wage when the market rate for these jobs would be about 4-5 dollars higher per hour if they weren't here, removing a safety net for many men of work-to-do if they lost their primary jobs, and a valuble source of -second- jobs to do on weekends while getting ahead economically (an advantage that men used to have on women). HI-B visas have screwed omegas and betas particularily hard as those men disproportinately worked in the computer business. Men have beared the brunt of all these changes, but women have not................yet.

    Now we have tons of immigrant women here, and the new generation of these gals can indeed speak English. From about 20 -down, the new latinas can indeed get office-girl jobs and compete directly with American women, and they of course will be doing so, lowering the pay-scale for the others. Outsourcing of communications jobs overseas is also going to hurt American females financially, and that is about to start happening. Men seeking refuge from the low pay and competition of blue collar jobs are now just starting to apply for office jobs, much to the chagrin of office girls (boy I know a couple women who are bitchin' mad because of all the men applying at their loan offices.......formerly they only worked with other women and are unused to guys who really bust their ass at work and dont socialize, gossip, and make lunching out the center of their day, in other words they are real competition).

    The game out there is going to be changing indeed in about 15 years as some of these economic changes take place and the new procreative technologies come online. Women's positions will suffer from every one of them in the United States anyway.

    I dont know of any men who validate themselves by whatever women they are dating or fucking, they only revere the women who are helping them raise their children. The urge men feel towards women is the primal urge of being dads to babies, if this subconcious urge is removed, because men can have kids without females, females then become mere objects of sensual pleasure (because very very few of them are objects of intellectual fufillment as most of them are into silliness, gossip, and status vs. a man's male friends who are genuinely interesting human beings), and diversion.

  7. z.g. said
    I really would not put too much emphasis on social pressure, as that is countered by sex and city media.
    Maybe. I do know girls that complain about that, though. Granted they are not in their thirties yet, but they tell me things like "I don't even need a man to have babies anymore. There are toys, and there is Craigslist. Why doesn't my mom understand?"

    "you fuck them, they love you; you love them, they fuck you"Gold.

    My mom raised me in the deep belief that women do not enjoy sex (other than with someone they love). They "offer" it to a man they love - as a sacrifice, a sign of love, a present.

    This belief screwed me up big time when I was young.

    Why did she do that? Wouldn't it be smarter from a woman's (gene's) perspective to raise an alpha?

    I believe she went through the same shit that women do today (on a lesser scale of course, the times were more restrictive). I heard her lament about her first boyfriend, and it clearly sounds like the classic "falling for an alpha asshole who went on to break her poor little heart". She must have decided that I will not become like this guy who ruined her youth - hence the brainwash.

    Plus, for many married women sex becomes exactly that - an unenjoyable act of sacrifice for the man they love (as in "puppy love", as my dad describes their state of affection after about 40 years of marriage).

  8. @zWhile I do not agree with you on the details, I feel that most of us guys with "open eyes" share the belief that we are (or will soon be) experiencing a transformation of sorts.

    Marriage strike and declining birth rates are one indicator of this - the consequences will force decision makers to react.

    The pendulum is about to swing back towards a more conservative culture in which men will gain back some of the power they lost.

    Some welcome this development, some don't.

    In any case, I agree with roissy and stagetwo that it needs a public debate about what we have learned about (the effects of) unrestrained female sexuality.

  9. 11 Minutes,

    You wrote, "Marriage strike and declining birth rates are one indicator of this - the consequences will force decision makers to react"

    Dude, you underestimate how much the Marxists hate you and your kind. They are elated that white birthrates are well below replacement, thrilled about the marriage strike, and eagerly look forward to whites intermarrying with non-whites and basically disappearing over the next century. Whatever you may believe 11 minutes, be sure to know that the social changes brought about by legal chicanery and the corporate imposition of the girl economy were WELCOMED by the Marxists for just this purpose. Marx called for " a legalized community of women". He was not kidding, and the marxiscati are not kidding either, they really mean that..............and intend for YOU 11 minutes to pay man-taxes to help fund it all, and they will not cease and desist for fighting for this.

    There are no "decision-makers" dude, there is no group of older white men who make decisions, its all about power and whatever group claws its way to the levers of power make up the rules (laws) out there on the plain. These people hunger for a day when nobody gets married, we are post-racial (interbred to the point that there are no races), live in endless rows of condos, all have to use public transportation, and the state controls every aspect of everyone's life, and men get little/no contact with any kids that they may have fathered. Adolus Huxley was not kidding about this people in his description of what they want and desire for humanity.

    Id be elated about a "public debate about what we have learned abotu unrestrained female sexuality", but you will not see legally "restrained" females again. They are over half of the voters.

  10. z, my answer will be coming in the weekend,

    11 minutes,

    My mom raised me in the deep belief that women do not enjoy sex (other than with someone they love). They "offer" it to a man they love - as a sacrifice, a sign of love, a present.

    This belief screwed me up big time when I was young.
    Same on here.

    An addition of screwing me up with women, she banned me from educating my brother few eyars back because I had too "radical" views on women... (damn, should not have forgotten them when I met my ex...)

    Three or so years later, I got a request that I please talk to my brother about these stuff...

    So something must have made her change her mind, and I think it is the girls in the family, all who divorced after two years of marriage and a kid, some changed town, leaving the father behind...

    Mothers raise their sons as they think they want their husbands to be, and also most still come from a different generation.

    I.e.: All the younger girls in the family born 73-77 are divorced, none of the older families have a divorce. the 77-83 crowd is just getting married, and I think their divorces depend on the economy.

  11. The pendulum is about to swing back towards a more conservative culture in which men will gain back some of the power they lost.

    Some welcome this development, some don't.

    In any case, I agree with roissy and stagetwo that it needs a public debate about what we have learned about (the effects of) unrestrained female sexuality.
    The debate about unrestrained female sexuality (ingrained female sexuality) NEEDS to be widespread before the change occurs, if the change will occur.

    Otherwise, what is now in the open - women slutting around (cool if I am single), women openly cheating, openly scolding men etc - will be happening in secret.

    Then there will be no way of making the Average Joe see the other side. Now at least a small fraction of men are looking around and are receptive to the debate.

    Then, they will be slaves to the woman who is raising two kids, none his own, and banging few guys on the side.... These guys will not even want a DNA test for a baby that came out the wrong color.

    Even now, men are angry at my words, and they reply "If she has a kid, and if I love her, the kid is part of her, there is no problem"... Sure....

    When I say "Well she left her husband because she was bored... Can you entertain her and the kid for all time?" .. Silence....


    "Well she chose to have a kid from an asshole... Nobody asked the kid if she wants to grow without a dad.. That is a bit selfish and lacking in judgement, is it not?".... "But... love...."..... Yup...

  12. Id be elated about a "public debate about what we have learned abotu unrestrained female sexuality", but you will not see legally "restrained" females again. They are over half of the voters.True. The laws, also unwritten social ones, will not be changed unless a major very major disaster strikes... Not this economic crisis, not 10xKatrina's..

    But there is one thing.

    As more than one half of the voters are women, almost half the population are men.

    No matter how much women earn, how much support they get, they will need a man deep inside.

    With this debate, you may enable a significant number of men to resist that need of women and give them only what is offered of value in an unrestrained sexual marketplace:
    Instantaneous gratification of mutual sexual needs.

    In this kind of marketplace, a woman's sexuality is not valuable enough to warrant a lifetime commitment, a promise of taking care of her.

    When my eyes were not fully opened, and almost fully blinded by love, the woman I was with, a woman previously extremely promiscuous(a 9.5), picky or not, uttered the words:

    "I want a man to take care of me"

    (she is extremely intelligent, good job, ambitious, career type)

    There I was, blinded with love, but in the gut there was nausea. there was something wrong. And few months later I pulled the curtain away and saw what is wrong... She wanted me to take care of a depreciating merchandise that was easily available with men of my caliber, while by taking care, I was actually investing heavily into a otherwise free sexuality.

    Had the debate been more open,- as this really took off in the last few years. Buss came public in the past few years.. Widespread blogs are new. Even the studies about hidden ovulation maybe being a means to cuckoldry are new - I would have gained few years of my life and would been spared the loss of time, opportunities and the suffering that I needed to go through to open the debate to myself by myself.

    thus the debate is necessary, but

    Not to change women, to educate men.

  13. Eheh...

    z, sorry man, I misread your comment as meant for me.. tiredness of the week kicking in.

  14. The "bell curve" graphic doesn't show.

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