Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Monica vs. Hillary

Few man toys come close to a perfect pair of boobs. Some ingenious little devices can do the trick, however. Pleasure-wise, I get a lot of mileage out of gadgets such as the iPod touch, for example.
My latest source of joy: The Kindle application. It provides the ingenious idea of reading books wherever you are without the need of buying the expensive (and somewhat oversized) epaper device sold by Amazon.com.

The first book I downloaded was a recommendation from a friend: "It's not you, it's biology."

The book provides no new insight into the various evopsych theories of mate choice and romantic love. We all know that women seek out bad boys, yet ultimately want commitment while men want variety and fear cuckoldry. So when it comes to sex we are all sneaky.

Yet, the witty, colloquial language and the occasional aphorism makes it fun to read - especially when flipped through on a long commute or train ride on a device that also provides a shuffled mix of your favorite music.

One chapter in particular caught my interest: It's about "what women want".

None surprisingly, the author does not differentiate well between "interpersonal dominance" and the "position" held by a man (David Buss' studies emphasizing earning power rather than earning prospect are partly to blame).
As a result, he overemphasizes the role of status symbols such as suits, cars and money. And As I pointed out before, this is a mainstream group think fallacy. Anyone who's good with women knows that money is a poor vag moisturizer compared to social dominance. I was surprised that a few pages later he gets to the same conclusion (somewhat self-contradictory):
"In all species with pair-bonds, females are attracted to evidence that males display a chance for power in the community." (emphasis mine)

He goes further:
"Female(s) ... seem pretty good at predicting which males will rise to social dominance."

Followed by:
"Either female seductresses magically cause males to become alphas, or female attraction has predictive power."

This is worth thinking about for a minute, since it actually is conceivable that increased female attraction early on is part of what differentiates alphas from betas thanks to a positive feedback loop. Guys who got seduced early and often will need no "fake-it-till-you-make-it" phase later in life.

Yet, there is also good reason to believe that women are closer to talent scouts than accountants when it comes to assessing male power.

To put it in the words of Joe Quirk:
"Why can't females just sleep with today's top dog? ...
Older male primates usually have the social standing to control (resources), yet soon they will get too old to maintain that standing and support their children

This makes sense in species where an alpha's reign is short lived. Young fertile females will have a preference for the ambitious young and upcoming rival ("Hillary strategy") rather than for the old depreciating asset of a wealthy old man ("Monica strategy"). And what this means is:

"Female(s) are attracted to power, but even more so to signs of potential power."

Of course, in our society things get complicated by the fact that the resources of a fallen alpha might still end up with his long term mate. Hence, it is no surprise that there are women who marry unattractive rich men. But when it comes to the moistness between the legs, women will gravitate towards guys who "have got what it takes" rather than those "who have got".

[The consequences of this becoming common knowledge would be disastrous to society. We all live of the hard work and constant effort of polite, law-abiding beta males who believe that their only way to quality women is via a hard earned career and money. If these men would quit amassing positions and start acquiring interpersonal dominance skills instead we'd soon suffer as a whole.]

The book contains some more gems such as:
"An owner of a dating service observed that men look at the photos and women read the resumes (hint,hint). Twenty-something women were the choosiest of all. After that, standards drop, when women claim they grow up and give up on girlish dreams of a knight in shining armor. Well, younger women can afford to have ambitions for a knight in shining armor, because knights in shining armor are competing for them."

Other observations such as that a woman in underwear is arousing because her fertility becomes visible while a man in underwear is funny because he got stripped of status symbols will make a lot of sense to the avid reader of this and the befriended blogs. It is refreshing to read an amused and amusing take on the gender divide and how our intuition and folk-lore when it comes to love and sex collides with the reality of animalistic instincts shaped by evolutionary pressures. It can get too depressing at times thinking about where all of this combined with some of the gifts of "modern life" might lead us to.


  1. if money had ANYTHING to do with the equation....buying drinks would lead to sex. IT DOES NOT. i think i've banged 2-3 girls that I bought a drink for...and one was Brazilian, so she's an outlier anyway. great post champ.

  2. "Female(s) are attracted to power, but even more so to signs of potential power."
    Fucking wow.

  3. This is well-articulated. I've definitely noticed this and even written a little down about it before, but have been unable to describe it so accurately.

    Especially for younger women, finding a man who seems to be just on the verge of making it big is a big thing. That's the appeal of passionate young musicians, writers, artists, etc. If she sees a real talent there, and a real passion and work ethic, she will project into the future a vision of a huge star (of course this is all sub-conscious). This kind of man can be even more attractive than one who has already "made it".

    "Talent scouts" is a great way to put it.

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