Monday, July 6, 2009

The Irony of Whoring

Did you read the headline and thought: "Hey, another post about how all women are whores"?
Actually, no. Not this time.

Today I will talk about actual prostitutes. Eastern European teenagers with a playboy-worthy appearance and regular STD tests, to be precise.

I spent last Saturday night strolling the red light district in Amsterdam. A city so liberal that nobody even interferes with various illegal activities going on in broad daylight.
I had not planned to walk through what’s essentially a several-blocks large open air brothel amidst hundreds of guys struggling with their pot overdoses and ‘shroom-trips.

But all my attempts at localizing some nightlife failed. Web sites and locals alike guided me to the Sodom and Gomorrah of our times.

And I would be dishonest not to admit that I was curious about - and pretty soon fascinated by - the sexual spectacle around me.

If you haven’t been, you cannot quite imagine what it’s like. There are narrow streets divided by water, the famous canals called Gracht (completely unpronounceable for native English speakers), and surrounded by buildings dating back to the times of Descartes. There is an intense stink in the air as coffee shops open their windows and American tourists blow smoke in the air as if they were bee keepers readying to get to the good stuff. And then there are “the windows” (really just (very) small rooms with a bed, a sink and a toilet with a door to the street).

The whore houses are indicated by neat looking red lanterns at the doors, but it would be hard to walk by and not notice the business they were designed for since the girls knock on the glass, swing open the doors and even grab your shirt as you walk by.

At first I felt strangely uncomfortable about the scene. But my fascination soon took over completely, and kept me going. But it wasn’t until long until I felt deep guttural disgust and sadness for the dynamics unfolding in front of my eyes.

There was a general pattern: large groups of guys – “regular” looking, mostly in their twenties – would stroll around and then congregate in front of one of the windows. The woman (rather: 18 year old girl) inside would then put up a show of swaying her body, winking and pointing fingers at the guys she thought would be the most likely to walk in. Sometimes the girls would even start conversing in broken English. The guys typically just stood there and stared. After a while the group would disperse.

Now, the first interesting observation I made was that despite the low prize – 50 Euros, non-negotiable for anything but anal according to my field interviews – almost none of the whores managed to turn a trick (yes, it is less than what American pay for the obligatory pre-lay dates, but it proves most men love the chase more than the trophy). If they were successful in attracting a guy, they earned applause and cat calls.

And if it happened, the guy that walked in would fit in one and the same category: good lucking, well kept, intelligent seeming young man with striped shirt, glasses and body language giveaways that screamed: just graduated in engineering at a German college (the European equivalent to the American IT nerd).

Once a guy went in, the other guys tended to wait and take the time it took for them to come back out (usually not long). Cat calls again. And then they moved on.

What they left behind were young girls who dropped the façade for a second. Any them they thought themselves unobserved (I am such a sneaky motherfucker), they went from smile to sigh. The first time I saw that, I was shocked. The contrast between the raunchy, horny, lurid persona they just were a second ago, and the sad, insecure broken creature they turned into when nobody looked was almost incomprehensible. But when they started smiling again I noted that underneath their bedroom eyes there was an ocean of despair.

The irony couldn’t be any bigger. Here you have some girls from poor countries dreaming up a better life far away. As any girl, they eventually seek the comfort and safety that only a dedicated Provider male can offer. They dream of houses and kids, and a husband who loves and pampers them until they die of old age. They seek a good, decent man who makes some money, is a good dad and would not hurt them in any way (by means of cheating and/or abuse).

At the same time, and on the other side of the glass, you find exactly that type of guy. Men with decent jobs, great daddy potential and an adoration for these women that borders on obsession. They would do anything to be with a woman of that class. They would love them with unconditional one-itis, and not believe their luck of scoring such a trophy wife. These men would never raise a hand or cheat on these girls, since they lack the chance (and are blinded by one-itis).

In a sense, these windows are a meeting point of the two soul mates that romantic movies are all about. Both parties would get what they want if they would be able to find each other “in love” and not as part of a business transaction. And in a perfect world, these souls would fall in love regardless. Yet, there was essential element lacking for Pretty Woman to come true: The girls do not really want these guys.

In fact, all the sighs and sadness are due to fact that biology is a bitch, and female bodies designed to reject the sperm of lesser men. A man who needs to pay for relief is not the type of guy a woman gets wet for (the enormous stashes of lubricant bottles next to these girl’s beds are testament to that).

The sadness and despair in their eyes was the outer sign of the biologically inspired panic with which their bodies reacted to the danger of getting impregnated by unfit,lesser men.

Rather, the brutal grip and cold emotion-less eyes of their black pimps is what turns these girls on. Whenever I saw them talk to one of these shawdowy figures, who lingered in the alleys waiting to cash in once a trick left a premise, the girls eyes lit up in admiration.

These women are disgusted by the guys who offer them to realize the dream of their life, and they love the men who systematically destroy any chance of getting there.


There is another red light district in Amsterdam. I stepped into it by accident the next day while trying to find a street café for lunch with my Dutch friend (she was unfamiliar with Amsterdam herself). The women there are not attractive. They are old. Their faces and looks were even sadder than those of the EE girls I saw the other night, and their attempts of getting my attention even more desperate. This is where the girls go once they turn 30 and tricks stay away for good. I have no idea how much they charge, but I am sure it is even less than the already low-seeming prize in the touristy area. The women here have lost hope. But they haven’t lost the attraction for their pimps.

16 comments:

  1. Thought this was going to be an emo-fest at first, but nice final thoughts.

    Ironically, the beta's paying prostitutes are still "lower class" than the prostitutes themselves.

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  2. I completely disagree with your observation that men who frequent prostitues are losers. Most guys who use the hign end escorts are extremely smart and know what women are... tools to meet physical needs.

    The guy who uses low class cheap hoes are beta. While the alphas use high end escorts since they can afford it. Lastly, who really cares about the bitch? It is beta to feel sorry for pussy. Do you really think a lion feels any regret for the animal he eats? Bottomline is Alphas get laid. It doesn't matter if he "pays" indireclty through dates or directly. He is getting pussy from a hot women and his body doesn't care how. I would rather respect an "Alpha" who slept with 300+ hot hoes than an "Alpha" who has a girlfriend and slept with 20-30 chicks over his career.

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  3. Anonymous, I am sorry if I pushed a button.

    However, nowhere did I say tricks are tools. I was merely describing what I saw. And the guys that got turned where the kind of guys we all know that can't get laid for shit.

    I am not looking down on prostitution. Rather, I was pointing out how biology shapes a situation too almost too ironic to bare (at least for me).

    Common sense is that "men are pigs", and women prostitute themselves because of the bottomless male sex drive. Here I describe the biological truth behind it. It's the bottomless female sexuality that is at the core of these girls' misery.

    As to the latter - I love women way too much not to care (about them being forced to a sexual situation far from their nature). They are not just prey I fuck for my ego. I genuinely enjoy female company and how their feminine esprit resonates with my masculinity. Read Master Dogen's posts here and here if you want to grasp this notion.

    Lastly, alpha status is not defined by the number of lays a man accrues in his lifetime. The biggest omega can easily get 300 hundred lays or more by cashing out accordingly. The number of women wanting to sleep with you upon call, or the number of female orgasms you produce are much better approximations as to the social status a man transpires.

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  4. True words about the irony of the situation. That piece of glass separating two agents who theoretically have what the other one wants (or thinks she wants).

    In another time, when most women ended up marrying betas and sticking with them for life (you know, the awful days of patriarchy when families were stable and incomes and manufacturing output were on the rise... thank god those days are over), many of the hottest women would have landed an alpha. But many of the others would have been relatively happy with a clean, respectable, loving, law-abiding, supportive beta. Sure their loins would still pulsate for alpha sperm, but living in a society that encouraged loyalty, monogamy and putting family before your own whims, allowed a woman to find happiness even without it.

    Even if one of these men were to meet one of these women and somehow start a storybook "Pretty Woman" relationship, it would be doomed. The first thing the man saw of her was her slutty, untrustworthy nature. The first thing the woman saw of him was his needy, sexually-frustrated beta-tude. First impressions matter.

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  5. great post. observation will yield true insight into human behavior and desire.....and it's not what you're socialized to believe. i love the show on mTV about girls dating douchebags.....the chick only rarely leaves, and the score simply underscores that minus NATIONAL TV seeing that she is dumb...she will probably tolerate systematically alpha/detached/womanizing behavior.

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  6. Sounds to me like people in... EVERY JOB! Ever notice how fake people are in the work place? They put on a smile all day and then retreat back to depression when no one is looking.

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  7. Very insightful. This is the quandary of biology. It's always been this way, only now women feel free to separate sex from marriage and have truly become victims of their hypergamy. Only social monogamy or punitive family law guarantees women any measure of security, and in either case only the best looking will have any degree of attraction for their mates. It's not surprising that many societies marry their girls off before their biology kicks in. We can see from the example of our own society what results from giving women the freedom to pursue their sexual natures and freedom of choice.

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  8. Good point, Anonymous. But the fake smile is not what I was after.

    If you have ever played "Marry, Fuck, Kill" with a woman, then you know how much they hate the idea of sleeping with a low status male. The look in their eyes was way more than a bad or sad mood, masked by customer friendliness.

    There was something much bigger and darker going on inside the mind of these women. Something akin to men finding out their wife had been screwing around for years. We are here to pass on our genes in the best possible way. And if we fail to do so by getting cuckolded as men or getting impregnated by unfit males for women, there are some genetically determined programs getting switched on in our minds that are far from the ordinary, in order to save what's to save.

    I wish I could have taken portraits, since a picture says more than a thousand words. But these women know that one pic online is equivalent to their chance of ever catching a "serious" guy being zero. I have seen a camera being thrown into the canal.

    Besides, my post was not about save-a-hoe'ing. The only purpose of this post was to point out life's irony of girls being pussy-steered toward guys who don't give them what they (say they) want.

    In theory, these girls all made a voluntary choice, and are free to leave any time they want. The prostitution laws in Netherlands include a prohibition of pimping and even guarantee health benefits for so-called "sex workers" (but see: here).

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  9. "Rather, the brutal grip and cold emotion-less eyes of their black pimps is what turns these girls on. Whenever I saw them talk to one of these shawdowy figures, who lingered in the alleys waiting to cash in once a trick left a premise, the girls eyes lit up in admiration."

    I have heard it said that any woman is potentially a street-walker/whore.Is there any truth to that?Do pimps know something most others dont?

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  10. Anonymous, AFAIK pimps were the ones who reverse engineered "Game" in a way unheard of before. As you can see by reading some of Master Dogen's posts, there are hints at Game all throughout Western literature, but pimps (necessarily) turned that into an art form. Much of PUA lingo goes back to pimp jargon.

    You might want to check out Iceberg Slim's "Pimp", which is a great read if nothing else.

    Another interesting resource is the old Pimp Network. In particular this.

    Finally, Player Supreme (who claims that he pimped some escorts for a while himself) has made a name in the community by teaching the differences between PUA and pimp game (such as the importance of "choosing", i.e. eye contact initiated by the woman before the approach).

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  11. I was reminded of a story from Tucker Max. He was in Vegas (or something) and haggled with a prostitute. She insisted he had to pay a certain minimum just so she could pay for the room for an hour. He kept haggling and eventually she went out of her way to get the room for only half an hour. Afterwards Tucker did the calculations and after subtracting the room cost, the girl actually fucked him for only $5 profit.

    A lot of wives are just high-class prostitutes, aren't they. How many women would stick with their betas if the betas went broke?

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  12. 11 Minutes

    Your apology is unnecessary. Nothing on this subject matter offends me anymore. I do see a lot of Betas and Omegas use prostitues. They are the computer engineering types that have a lot of dough, but lack social skills to actually get laid. Still you can't rule out that Alphas ex. celebrities, politians and military use them when there are no other options or they just want to. I'm a very cynical and realist so I think every women is trading sex for money, time and energy. I like when 100 bucks will get me a guaranteed lay with a beautfiul women with complete control.

    The misery of women is time which will desotry every beauty. It is sad but men are attracted to external beauty and without it there can be no love or lust. It is tragic that most women never invest in their inner development.

    I did read the two posts you recommended. It was interesting, but won't change the fact that men will lust after beauty and most women who are in those situations have brought it upon themselves. For example Tom Leykis states that women who are in an abusive relationship brings it to themselves by staying with the abuser. If you don't like the situation, the women should change it. People need to take responsiblity for their own actions and situation. I would have continued to cheat behind the back of the Beta boyfriend btw... I don't think I can respect a man with that kind of fetish.

    Part of being alpha is sleeping with a lot of women, since his high testostrone nature drives him to sleep around. Of course number of sexual parnters is not everything to the Alpha male. You also have to look at his social dominance, health, game, accomplishments and friends. Quantity and quality should be noted. If an omega has slept with 300 women it is highly likely that he will become beta. There are always exceptions, but it is generally true. Most omegas won't have the means for sleeping with 300 women. The easiest way for men to become alpha is raising their testostrone through sex with multiple partners and domiance over others via sports, work or other social outlet.

    Lastly, it is sweet to know that there are still idealists when it comes to male and female relationships. I wish I still had the notion that females were great company. Now I sleep around with every female I fancy... that includes ones with boyfriends, husbands or pimps. I can't help it and will likely continue this until the day I die.

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  13. When I was reading there were these three paragraphs for which my replies formed themselves, until I red 11's last sentence:

    The girls do not really want these guys.

    I will still try to forget the last sentence and add my few cents.

    Here you have some girls from poor countries dreaming up a better life far away. As any girl, they eventually seek the comfort and safety that only a dedicated Provider male can offer. They dream of houses and kids, and a husband who loves and pampers them until they die of old age. They seek a good, decent man who makes some money, is a good dad and would not hurt them in any way (by means of cheating and/or abuse).

    One has to remember, they are looking for the husband not to love him, but for him to provide and pamper her.

    Not too different than human history, but in a way different than their western counterparts who are the fish in no need of bicycle, though they are swimming in the sea made possible by the bicycles' efforts, blood, time, energy, creativity, work, etc, in short blood and money.

    The reason they are looking for the good men is that they have seen women get destroyed by relationships with the exciting bad boys in a society where you are not rewarded for conceiving bastards. Not because they want the good men.

    At the same time, and on the other side of the glass, you find exactly that type of guy. Men with decent jobs, great daddy potential and an adoration for these women that borders on obsession. They would do anything to be with a woman of that class. They would love them with unconditional one-itis, and not believe their luck of scoring such a trophy wife. These men would never raise a hand or cheat on these girls, since they lack the chance (and are blinded by one-itis).

    Maybe sometime ago i was one of these men, maybe not.

    One thing for sure is that these men have been lied to since they were born. And sadly are waiting for the day that the "special one" will cross their paths and will be "grown up" enough to want a relationship.

    What they do not realize is that, "special one" has not "grown up" but is one the verge of being totally "used up" by the time she "grows up". A few years left in the market, she has enjoyed the best times with men a friend of mine calls dickheads, and now has "grown up" to look down her level (!!) and settle for a man who will take care of her.

    The girls do not really want these guys.

    So what I wrote was unnecessary....

    About the thing of "growing up": Some will say "well she had to go though all of that, she had to live all of that, to be able to appreciate you" or some bs. I will say, "If I want to be appreciated, it will be from a rare diamond, not coal in disguise", and "If she needed to go through all of that, then it must've been very hard to appreciate me", or some similar thing, you get my point.

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  14. It's easy to understand what you guys are trying to achieve, which is a sort of contentment based on physical and ego satisfaction. Criteria of satisfaction based on physical and ego desires works in the context you have set up, but in the larger scheme of things, to use women as toys (despite your insistence that you enjoy their company as a person) simply means that you are killing yourself. Because actions convey something about the person doing the action and the object to whom it is done, and to use someone else as an object is to say that it is acceptable to do so in the scope of human life. Here, you are not only saying it is acceptable to use another person to satisfy your sexual/physical/ego desires, but it is actually GOOD to do so.

    But if it is within the proper scope of human life to use and be used as means to satisfy sexual desire, then it must also mean that other people can do the same to you.

    The counter argument from you might be that the biological context under which you are operating is independent from you; you are only playing according to the rules, and you want to win. And secondly, you will say that women are already using men to satisfy their material needs, and so you are just reciprocating.

    If you are really an Alpha who can succeed on your terms, why are you letting "this game" and these circumstances dictate your behaviour to you? At best, you are just a worker drone or slave to materialism and sex. Your concept of what is "good" is based on ephemeral and transient things; no sooner have you achieved your climax then it is gone and you must seek again, and everyone is just a tool/object in this quest of 30-minutes of pleasure that turns to nothing more than a fleeting memory.

    You want to be an Alpha, and you have formulated the context for this Alpha. But is your context good enough? Because if your context is deficient, then so is your understanding and pursuit of being an Alpha.

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  15. Anonymous:

    Honestly, and with no snark intended at all, I have no idea what or who you are talking about. You are making a long series of claims about what we desire with absolutely no basis for this whatsoever. You seem to have an idea already formed in your head of what some straw-man "player" is like, and then you proceed to cram us into that mold.

    I'm not going to refute your points one by one because it's really tedious, and just about every post on this blog can refute them easily if you read it with an open mind.

    I'll just address the end of your first paragraph. You talk about Subjects and Objects. But, believe me, you are the only one here proposing that we view women as Objects. You can make a grammatical argument that transitive Subject-Verb formations require Objects, but that would be pretty silly (though true). In that sense the very act of posting a comment on a blog is technically "using" someone and "objectifying" them. So with that out of the way, let me reiterate once more: we don't hate women, we don't see them as objects, and yes, tapping into one's god-given manliness is indeed a good thing. No one is "using" anyone.

    I agree it would be empty to use women as toys. And you acknowledge that we have already talked about how that's not what we want to do (or already do). Though it may be very satisfying for you, you can't just dismiss that so flippantly and expect your argument to still hold water.

    If I may... you seem like a pretty alienated person with a lot of pent-up aggression. Now that may be me unfairly judging you. But just so you know, that's the way you come across, whether you intend it or not. I'm truly baffled that you can come up with that kind of reading of this site, unless you are reading it through some pretty distorted anger-glasses. And because this is the internet and it's really easy to mistake someone's tone on here, let me say one more time, that though this is a harsh evaluation, I mean it in all sincerity and with whatever respect such a comment will bear.

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