Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Can you pull it off?

One of the last posts instigated an interesting discussion in the last's posts comment section:

What works better in getting 'ginas tingly - a perfectly tailored suit, or a tight shirt revealing pecs and guns?

The answer is, of course, context-dependent (and - that neither really matters since it is all about subcommunication when it comes to female attraction).

The accessories that help signal "alpha male" to women in a biker's bar are not the same as the ones that indicate "high status male" in a professional setting. More so, however, a man needs to be able to pull it off. Not every man can wear a suit and really look good in it. And a tight shirt might work against you rather than help if you are void of any muscle.

Just like stagetwo once said:


The key to being well calibrated is to having what it takes to pull it off.

I learned this as another lesson from Pierre, who pulled a lot of things of that most men can't. And the most impressive of them was the ability to be incredibly cheesy.

Pierre's approach to seduction was heavily infused by mainstream thinking. What he he took from the immense library of romance novels the he read was both, dominant behavior and an idealized sensuality akin to cheesy Hollywood "romance" that is often looked down upon by modern day seducers as "supplication".

Pierre woes women with food, wine, flowers and poetry. He is not afraid to tell them how beautiful they are (before they had sex). Pierre opens doors, pulls back seats, takes off jackets and even makes sure he walks on the side of the street that faces the cars. In other words, Pierre treats women as a gentleman in the book, even in situations where it seems an unnecessary favor to a woman. He does it simply for her being a woman. 

In other words, Pierre seems to put women on a pedestal - and he gets away with it. Contrary to common belief, Pierre's kindness does not put him in the friend zone. Pierre manages to be a nice guy and a lover at the same time.

It is not despite Pierre's beta male gesturing that he is so successful, but because. Sometimes it is the opposite of high status displays that demonstrates real strength - such as laughing at yourself. A tyrant's most impressive demonstration of power is to be merciful to its fiercest enemy.

Pierre's success lies in the fact that his kindness does not get misinterpreted as weakness.

Pierre does not really supplicate. He is not trying to trade favors for sex. He is signaling that he has enough sex and the choice to walk away at any moment. His gentleman-y behavior is just a playful facade that he puts on to let women know that he can become their romance novel come true - for a night. It is a way to sub-communicate his deep understanding of female sensuality that promises her intense sexual experience.

5 comments:

  1. Being a gentleman doesn't have to be beta--but it does mean that you have to be a gentleman at all times. Being a gentleman demonstrates high social value. It's beta when you're just "doing it" to get something in return from the girl you're acting gentlemanly towards. And usually, acting situationally as a gentleman is incredibly beta because it is supplication.

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  2. Any low status behavior is tolerable and even attractive when a man displays a higher proportion of high status behaviors to complement them.

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  3. subcommunication is something that is not very often talked about in the game community. But being around women at work, almost EVERYTHING is subcommunicated.

    Women are always described as being subtle, or indirect. I believe subcommunication is a big part of this.

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  5. If you would like an alternative to casually flirting with girls and trying to figure out the right thing to say...

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