Friday, December 11, 2009

How to make sure you sleep alone on New Year's Eve

My first contact with the seduction community went awry. To this day I wonder what difference it could have made had I listened any earlier.

It was just days before New Year's a few years ago when a friend of mine called and asked me about my plans. I hadn't any. He hung up, and arrived at my doorsteps a few hours later with a big smile on his face.

"No excuses" was all he said, and minutes later I sat in his car on my way to NYC.

His plan was to visit friends of his and stay there for a couple of nights, including the big one, to finally get a chance to actually see the all drop. I was not sure what to think about that.

It was late that night when we arrived in Brooklyn. The flat was located in one of those "upcoming" areas that people in their late twenties like to populate. We knocked on the door, beers in hand.

A petite Asian girl with shoulder long hair opened the door and smiled. She was tomboyish, but cute. We went inside and met the other people. A young Chinese girl, rather pretty despite her bad teeth and a guy with long blond hair pulled back in a pony tail. He was the one my friend knew from his college days. We sat around a table and started to banter. There was an instant connection. We went out to Harlem that night - and had a blast. We went for breakfast the next day - and had a blast. We all reassembled for dinner at night, just to go hit the bars again.

The next morning my friend's buddy took me aside. He had rightfully sensed my naivete with women, and was poised to take those goggles of ignorance off my eyes. His initiation was well set out. By talking about evolution, he had caught my interest. He showed me a copy of "The Game" and proudly flashed his black fingernails. What I thought was just another trendy, hip, artsy, New York metrosexual fad turned out to be a gimmick to attract women!

I was captivated for a bit. I smiled nervously at his obvious accusation of being unattractive. I flipped through the book which looked like (and he called) the Bible, shaking my head in disbelief. It all seemed so - out there. Guys running around laying girls as if it were a sport. Isn't that what you stop doing once you leave the frat house? What's wrong with just having a girl friend?

Yet, everything he said seemed to make sense. My curiosity turned into excitement when I realized that he basically suggested a practical application to the evolutionary theories floating around academia. Could it be true that one can use the knowledge about our biological roots - something I strongly believed in - into your own advantage? There would be a certain irony if you could prove it to work on those very same people that deny the instinctive nature of human behavior.

But the black fingernails...

I just couldn't get my head around the black fingernails. It just didn't seem to make sense. It didn't seem right. Did he really do it just to get laid? I just couldn't take it seriously. He sensed my skepticism and gave up.

My friend and in ended up staying longer in NYC than originally planned. On New Year's the girls lead us over to one of their friend's places in Queens. It was an apartment close to the river. The fire stairs were rigged so that one could get up on the roof, where she actually put some furniture for lazy summer afternoons. We were promised a party, but there were only two drunk girls lingering at that place who looked disappointed when they realized that our group made for a total female-to-male ratio of 5:3 (with one of the guys being too close a friend to serve as walking sausage).

The social dynamics shifted accordingly. When we got (heavily drunk) on the roof around midnight to watch the fireworks taking off across the river, the girls had lost all ability to hold back. I felt like a naked supermodel walking into a hardware store. The New Year hugs became thinly veiled attempts at making a physical connection. Later on, one of the girls even stripped down to her lingerie "to get ready for bed". Each time a girl showed interest in one of us, the other ones got even more interested. I soon realized that none of them had planned to sleep alone that night.

But, amazingly, we all ended up doing just that.

Sometimes I think back to that trip in disbelief. What happened that night was the result of (everything that is wrong with) the "nice guy" mindset. I had cockblocked myself by believing societal norms. I had actually believed that these girls were not interested in casual sex. If they were, so I thought, they would send a clear signal. And lacking social calibration and an understanding of sub-communication I had completely missed that they were basically screaming it right into my face.

What I didn't realize that night is  that girls cannot go around and loudly proclaim that all they want to do tonight is put their mouth on the member of the guy with the least amount of kindness in the room.Unless a man demonstrates that he is not "judgmental", women will always behave as if they the only way to their happy trail is through a series of dinners, flowers and poems.

And if a guy clearly shares this mainstream belief, girls are forced to adhere to that stereotype even more in order not to lose their face. Now I know that the girls that night had thrown around nonreciprocated signals to the point of frustration. They were stuck between their urge for rough steamy sex and the need to play along as pure angels in search for a husband. And one of the most important differences between frustrated chumps and successful men is that the latter are able to see through that scam.

This is a perfect example of when what many think of as acting "friendly" is not only stupid but really an asshole move. I did not just frustrate myself that night, but more so the women who had brought themselves to the brink of publicly declaring their slutty fantasies - just to be turned down by a "judgmental" guy.

And that is what it looks like from a female perspective, as women cannot fathom that many guys act this way out of ignorance. The men they lust for under any normal circumstances are not the type of guys who are confused about a woman's sexual desires. It is only when average frustrated chumps get into an extraordinary situation such as the one described above that women are forced to face the reality of (and pay for) their own selectivity.


  1. Damn son. That's quite a story. I can definitely relate, although I've never been in a situation quite that extreme. Learning to recognize when women are interested in me has probably gotten me laid more than any other skill I've learned through the game.

  2. I hear you. I had several run-ins with the game and dismissed it. First, I was still getting laid somehow naturally (now I think it's social proof + most basic game (read: approaching) aquired via natural friends). Then, game back in the day wasn't what it is now. NLP, rapport, "how to kiss her" blah blah.
    In some way, an omega who one days just says enough and rebuilds himself is in an easier position motivation-wise, than socialized, but nice betaish guy.
    Then, a year ago I was looking for bars with good amount of girls in D.C. and stumbled on Roosh's "Top 5 bars for me" and it was on.

    On another note. So how do you demonstrate that you're not judgemental? just saying it doesn't work. And I'm not judgemental on the inside, so I guess subtle signals don't work either.

  3. how do you demonstrate that you're not judgmental?

    Don't just say that you are not judgmental.

    Subcommunicate that you are on the same page.

    Hint at having a harem ("Do I have a girl friend? What makes you think I only have one?"), praise and show respect for "female players" (that term alone does wonders), and complain about the "double standard" that prevents women from living their sexuality.

    Its easy to segueway into all that after playfully accusing her of being a stalker just to go on having her qualify your negative statements about jealousy etc.

    Don't overdo it. A casual drop of any one of the above will suffice (especially around U street or Dupont circle).

  4. Man. This reminds me of this one lost opportunity back in HS. I was in theater and rehearsing a scene with a friend at her house. I had one-itis for a different girl at the time so the thought of getting with this part-time exotic model (girl I was doing the scene with) wasn't even in my radar.

    Anyway, we were taking a break and having one of those random conversations that start about one thing and end up being about another. Towards the end I asked, "what was it we were talking about?"

    She was sitting on the floor at the time, got on her knees and placed her arms on my knee (I was sitting on the couch) and said "sex". Our convo delved nowhere near the topic of sex.

    My response?

    "No, we were talking about Mr. So-and-so". At the time I didn't notice the reaction but now I could see the look of frustration on her face.

    A few years later after HS I bumped into her and we ended up hanging out. She was looking as good as ever and I was into her. Tried to game her but failed.

    Gotta strike while the iron's hot I guess.

  5. Dude, I've been there, done that, enough times and finally, finally I managed to wake up and come to the same realization you did - can't make up for all those missed opportunities, but the first step to fixing a problem is identifying and acknowledging it.

  6. @ Trouble:

    "A woman will always forgive a man if he tries to seduce her, but she will never forgive a man if he doesn't."

  7. After I first learned game I went from being a beta bitchboy satellite to a hot girl to barely talking to her and improving myself. A while later I ran into her and went round her house and only realised later that she desperately wanted me. I had been obsessed with this chick for a year and then when it all could have worked I was too beta to see what she wanted.

    There were also other experiences before and after that episode where I realised I had missed girls throwing themselves at me. Its amazing once you get into game and reflect back on all your past stupidity.

    - Breeze

  8. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you must watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Text Your Ex Back?

  9. If you'd like an alternative to randomly picking up girls and trying to figure out the right thing to say...

    If you would rather have women chase YOU, instead of spending your nights prowling around in filthy pubs and restaurants...

    Then I urge you to play this short video to learn a strong little secret that might get you your very own harem of attractive women just 24 hours from now: