Friday, January 22, 2010

Strawberry Fields Forever

"Franz may be strong, but his strength is directed outward; when it comes to the people he lives with, the people he loves, he's weak. Franz's weakness is called goodness. 

Franz would never give Sabina orders. He would never command her, as Tomas had, to lay the mirror on the floor and walk back and forth on it naked. Not that he lacks sensuality; he simply lacks the strength to give orders. 

There are things that can be accomplished only by violence. Physical love is unthinkable without violence...What if she had a man who ordered her about? A man who wanted to master her?"
[M. Kundera - The Unbearable Lightness of Being


This post is destined to fail, but I will still give it a try. I have previously bragged about a routine I had developed years ago that has revealed to me the ubiquity of female sexual responses. I have been asked to post a description, and after some hesitation I have decided to reveal it in its entirety. 

I have two aims in doing so. First, I want to analyze why and how it works. I am curious for your input. Second, I want to enable female readers to test themselves. What I describe below worked on any woman I tried it with. I claim, it would work on you, too (when I say "worked on", I refer to a positive emotional response). Be honest in your response. Keep in mind, it is hard to put yourself into the actual situation when you are reading this from your arm chair. I will try to add as much situational information (such as about my tonality and body language) to enable the reader a "feel" for how this goes down in reality.


background:
I strongly believe that congruency is important when working with routines. The stuff below really is based on my life and has many truly autobiographical elements to it. I have shared the routine with other guys before and the overwhelming response that this "is so you". Note, for example, that I have a slight European accent. I can not imagine this routine to work for guys who are of the calm, serious kind (this routine is meant to be fun).

Thus, while this might work on any woman, it might not work for any man. 

homework:
I have used this routine in a diverse set of contexts (it does not require a bar-type of situation). It is designed to work even if you open a group. yet, if you aim "for the kill", your chances go up exponentially if you do your homework:

Instead of just screening girls for their attractiveness, use the same glimpse to check for "where she is at". Is she happy or sad, energetic or tired, alone or with friends? As I will outline below, one can use the same routine (as in the words that get spoken) to almost opposite effect. What seems funny when delivered one way will be sensual when delivered another. Calibration is key.
There are many more small things one can do to transform the environment into an ideal situation.
Just as an example - since the routine leads to rapid isolation of the girl, group management is key. One way to achieve that simply is to sit on a bar stool, removing the stool next to you, effectively creating a gap. In a crowded bar situation this will lead to girls ordering drinks right next to you. They will be away from their friends and in need of conversation while waiting to be served. You start from a great vantage point since you are comfortably seated and she is literally approaching you already.


the routine:
An ideal way to launch into an opener is to be as casual as possible. A stranger watching you from a distance should assume that you know the girl since years.
So here goes:



"Do you like strawberries?" (friendly, expectant smile)

[This works because it is brief, asexual, socially acceptable and highly unexpected. It will make her curious as to why you would ask that and is almost impossible to shoot down. Note that it is a question and hence an open loop.]


Wait for a response, but keep in mind that her response doesn't matter (I got "I am allergic" once or twice in reply - it didn't change things a bit).
"I freaking love strawberries. You know why?" (smile, slowly shake head with raised eye brows)

[It's brief, likely to mirror her positive response and ends with a rhetoric question. "Freaking" sub-communicates that you are gentleman-y polite, nice and savvy enough about social rules thereby lowering her anxiety to get socially embarrassed by your approach. The hook starts forming.] 

"Where I am coming from, we have these fields. All summer you can go there throughout the day. They give you a small wooden basket. You can eat and collect as many strawberries as you like. You pay by the weight. It is awesome. But you know what is best?" (slowly get more intense, focusing in on her. The open friendly smile gets slightly impish)
[As boring as it sounds, it evokes pleasant imagery and she will still be hooked. She knows you got a point, but can't quite figure out why you are telling her all that. And it is very hard for a woman to just walk away from an open question. Again, note how her answers don't matter at all.] 

"Nobody watches the fucking fields at night!" (almost whispered, so nobody else can hear; end on a seductive smile)   
[This is a key moment. The word "fucking" is essential and needs to be stressed in a non-aggressive way. She gets your intention now, and her surprise primes her for some excitement.]

"So, if I really like a girl. You know what I do?"
[It is essential to refer to a third person ("a girl") and use present tense. You start forming a fantasy/daydream now.]

"I take her by the arm, just like that..." (offer your arm, in a gentleman-y way)
[This is very light (reverse!) kino, your first sub-communication of dominance/leadership - and a compliance test which will help you calibrate. If she does not take your arm, you made a mistake at any point above. Be insistent for a moment, but make sure the social awkwardness does not turn against you if she really refuses to go along with that. Don't forget to reward her with a smile if she does what you want her to do. 
If you don't have her isolated just yet, do it know by walking away with her to a safe, but secluded spot.]

"... and then, we jump the fence.  It is slightly illegal, you know, but so much fun. And we sit down in the dark and eat as many strawberries as we want." (laugh and free your arm again)
[That little bit about breaking the law takes care of the bad boy vibe. Remember that pacing is important. You do not want her to destroy your spiel by asking you questions or firing up shit tests already. Don't rush, but lead her along, always giving her a slight piece more of what turns into an actual role play fantasy.]

"So we sit there in a warm summer night, watching the stars, eating strawberries - and you know what I do if I really like you?" (smile)
[This is hidden qualification. She wants you to like her, of course. We all want to be liked. Even by the people we don't feel attracted to. The story got fun and exciting. You surprised her before, she wants more of that.]

"I would have a backpack on me. And in there... I'd have a bottle of good, tasty red wine. Did you ever try strawberries with red wine?" 
[The sensuality is key. But this is getting cheesy. We deal with that by breaking the intense focus and teasing her a little bit.]


"Well, just imagine. It is dark. How do you tell the good strawberries from the bad ones? Once in a while you bite in a berry and it is awful." (laugh loudly and break the tension by adjusting your body language as if you would not be sexually interested in her any more; the overall effect should be as if you were disappointed by her silly lack of thinking about this problem)
[This part is deliberately anti-climatic. I often give the girl a slight push on her shoulder at this point (the "you should have thought about this!' kind) as contrast to the increasingly close connection that was formed before. Things had moved too fast up to this point. You give her a break and demonstrate your willingness to walk away. Your intention should get a little bit more ambiguous at this point again. A nervous laugh on her side is the best reaction at this point.]

 "So this is where the wine comes in. You get a bad berry, you take a sip of wine and everything is great again. And if I really, really like you and you have been a good girl... I would have another surprise. You have any idea?" (get close to her again as you say this; lower your voice)
[You just pushed her away, so open the loop to hook her again.]


 "Well, we sit there under all these stars and get a little tipsy from that wine, and all those smells and tastes. I would have something else in that backpack for you." (smile a lot; get away from her a little bit again)
[This needs to be delivered in the genuine fun, pleasant way that it promises; it contrasts directly with the short shocking break that reminded her of the bad berries.] 


 "I have this red satin tie that I use to tie women to my bed frame." (no smile; demonstrate the action)
[There is a moment of shock after all this cheesiness, but she will not be entirely surprised. This is when you get "The look". She will glance at you from the corner of her eye'; secretly, knowingly, expectantly. She is preparing for a make out and it most cases you could go in for a kiss right there and then. Better is to use that sexual tension by amping it up some more.]  


"... but for you, I have something else in mind." (impish smile)
[Needless to say, by this time your bodies should almost touch.]   


"I would use it as a blindfold. ---"  
(relax, lean back, then:)
"Do you like chocolate?"  
[This is the silliest question of all, but, again an important break from the intensity and sexual spell. Lean all the way out. Make it seem like you changed the topic.]

"Have you ever had chocolate and red wine?" (get in again)


"I'd have a selection of different kinds of chocolate. Good European chocolate. White, dark and bittersweet. And I'd break it into tiny pieces, and take that blindfold and put it around you..." (pretend that you have a satin tie that you put around her head; do not touch her until the very end where your arms are at the back of her head, then slightly touch her hair as if you would "by accident" when tying the tie. It will send shivers down her spine.)
[This is a big compliance test. You can never touch a woman's hair if she does not trust you. Touching a woman's hair in public is like touching her thigh or butt. Strangers and creeps are not allowed to do that. If her friends are around somewhere, they will keep an eye on her and this moment always sends off an alarm. They will gauge her reaction closely. Do not attempt this move if you sense resistance!]

"... and I would keep my head right next to your ear, just like so. Because this is not about kissing. This is about so much more. I have now robbed you of your most important sense. All that remains is smelling, tasting and touch." (whisper in her ear; the last words need to be said in a very sexual way.)
[Never mind the logic. We do not care about hearing, we are getting to the climax of sensuality, and she is about to swoon.]

"... and I would take the chocolate, piece by piece and tell you to stick out your tongue - like that."
[Final compliance test. Bite your lower lip as she does it.]

"... and put on that tiny piece and tell you to take it in your mouth. And - uh, uh - don't be greedy! Do not swallow!" (fatherly, as if she is a silly girl. Do not fear to ruin it by building up some tension or breaking the spell by making her laugh)

"... instead let it melt. In your mouth." (slow, seductive speech; move your head from her ear towards her mouth)
[It is easy to go for a kiss at this point. For good effect, you can remind her to close her eyes "since she is blindfolded". If you are really good, you let her do that and go in for the kiss, but stop short at her mouth. She will kiss you when she opens her eyes.]
    
There are many ways to follow up on that. Remember that a bar make out significantly reduces the chance of a same night lay (you gave her what she wanted). So, if this is not about winning a bet about scoring a make out within 5 minutes, simply let her ask her questions ("who are you?"/ "where are you from?" / "do you always do that?") now that she is attracted to initiate the "comfort phase". If you need more attraction, it is easy to follow up the above with Captain Jack's "strawberry fields" routine.


Although it is entertaining, I have not used this routine in more than two years. There are significant downsides in using long routines when meeting girls. It is good to have a bunch of standard answers to standard questions, but a long routine stifles any spontaneity (which is the fun part) and will hold you back in your personal growth. What it can do, however, is reveal the uniformity of human reactions to well crafted parts of social engineering. Just like we have predictable (emotional) reactions to great movies, music and other trigger pulses, a good routine will yield predictable reactions, too.
No need to feel bad about getting attracted to me, ladies. :-p


16 comments:

  1. Very interesting post.

    I think there is lots to take away from this in shorter form, you already alluded to the difficulty of long routines.

    But the key is really creating mystery, fantasy, and dominance.

    Also, funny you should say that bar makeouts reduce the chances of same night lays ...

    I was in Brazil recently, and since I had a language handicap, I did a lot more observing than I usually do.

    I noticed a girl get approached on the dance floor by a confident guy, it escalated and within minutes they were aggressively making out. But something felt very incongruent, I instinctively felt like he had no chance with her later, that he was satisfying a short term validation, or she was just being temporarily compliant.

    Better to have stoked her fires.

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  2. If a guy walked up to me and asked if I liked strawberries, I would assume he was trying to sell me some, and leave. But that's just me.

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  3. *waits to see the bars and clubs fill up with 10,000 guys repeating this routine verbatim* "Ugh, what are you, another one of those STRAWBERRY guys..." ;)

    Ok, but going off on a wild tangent, apparently Phillip K. Dick had some kind of religious experience with the song "Strawberry Fields Forever". He claimed to hear some kind of hallucinatory prophetic message in the song giving him some info which saved his son's life. So when I saw the post's title I was kind of hoping for some paranormal type stuff.. :D

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  4. on the topic of strawberries, I'd have skewed the conversation to the practical. "Have you ever picked a quart? What did you bake with them? Were your clothes stained? Did your back ache? Did you share them with others?"

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  5. If a guy walked up to me and asked if I liked strawberries, I would assume he was trying to sell me some, and leave.

    You got the strawberry creeps?!? Must have been a traumatic experience in your past.


    I'd have skewed the conversation to the practical. "Have you ever picked a quart? What did you bake with them? Were your clothes stained? Did your back ache? Did you share them with others?

    Yes, cake, yes, no. And since you ask about sharing - you know what I do if I really like a girl? Well, nobody watches the fucking fields at night..."

    Shit tests are a good thing. If a woman throws out shit tests, it means she gets attracted (and needs to verify whether you really are an alpha male). It will not happen if the approach is solid, but if it does, simply make it work for you.

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  6. but, your liberal use of the f--- word would have killed it.

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  7. Whether this works or not I couldnt say. Perhaps it really does work as effectively as you claim.

    But seriously, do you not feel yourself even the slightest bit degraded by indulging in such silliness just to get a girl? Its so, I dont know, *cutsey*.

    It just seems so un-masculine to behave and talk this way, that even if it was supremely effective, I just couldnt bring myself to do it.

    It is interesting to me that you dont feel that this is umasculine and degrading behavior on your part. Honestly, it sounds like a woman is talking for most of the dialogue.

    And its not like this kind of silly, cutsey, and unmanly behavior is strictly speaking necessary - it may work, I am not saying that it doesnt, although I have too much pride to ever personally find out - but its pretty easy to get girls without this kind of cutsey behavior, say, by just being calm and masculine and confident.

    There is a real crisis of masculinity when this kind of stuff passes for seduction.

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  8. I still think "Hello" is the best pick up line. Followed by something about her... clothes, friends or her opinion on some bs. Asking open ended questions is so easy.

    The routine works cuz you are leading and there is constant pleasant imagery to provoke "happy" emotions, which leads to association with you. Just like Mystery's sugar packet thing girls will remember you when they think of strawberries. Def a solid routine, but bit long for my taste. Personally "Nice shoes wanna f" or "Get on your knees b*tch" is better... :P

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  9. There is a real crisis of masculinity when this kind of stuff passes for seduction.

    Guess I am just man enough to pull it off then...

    I don't know dude, not saying that's you - but some guys seem to spend more time worrying about their masculinity than actually going out seducing girls (and no, "just being calm and masculine and confident" does not get you laid - it takes some action and leadership, too).

    I believe that the routine is filled up to the brim with alpha male-ness, even if it doesn't adhere to the macho stereotype. Girls seem to agree. You can take it from someone who's been there - worries about being "too feminine" are simply not on the forefront of your mind while you are basically on your way to getting your balls licked while taking another girl from behind.

    But, as I said, this is not for any type of guy. For me it really was fun to literally play with a girl like that.

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  10. If youre comfortable doing this thats cool, its just interesting to me that many guys are not embarrassed to behave this way. I guess its too harsh of me to call this a crisis of masculinity, but I still cant help but sadly compare this kind of thing with previous centuries who had an ideal of masculine seduction that didnt need to resort to this kind of thing.

    I do believe though there are certain things guys shouldnt do even if it gets them the girl. That cant be the only consideration. The idea that all ideas of masculinity fade into the background simply because youre getting sex seems hideous to me, and actually seems like the mindset of someone who doesnt get lots of girls - not saying thats you. Guys who get tons of girls can afford to be picky and can afford to refuse to do certain things. It seems to me the mindset of desperation to put getting the girl above all other considerations.

    I guess if I had to do this kind of cutsy thing to get girls, maybe Id reconsider. It just seems so unecessary. I suppose if you enjoy it for its own sake then thats another matter entirely!

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  11. Possibly the gayest thing I have ever read. Might have to delete this blog from my Bookmarks.

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  12. I'd love to see this run in a bar/public setting.

    Lost in the text medium of a blog post are all the nuances of tonality, body language, facial expressions, etc.

    Maybe if you droped this routine on a stone-cold bitch (which our author/anyone would probably not approach anyway)...maybe then it wouldn't work.

    The naysayers see "cutesy" and "girly", I see more push-pull, escalation and deliberate slowing down/back tracking (2 steps fwd, 1 back).

    I have to ask, do you improvise at any point (based on situational things)? Or is this pretty much delivered as is?

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  13. @ Mr M - The naysayers see "cutesy" and "girly", I see more push-pull, escalation and deliberate slowing down/back tracking

    This is what girls seem to see, too.

    I can see why some guys see it as too feminine (a frequent criticism of PUA routines). It gets me to think that your intuition is right: the tonality etc. matters. All the lines above get delivered tongue-in-cheek, a fact that seems to have escaped most readers.

    do you improvise at any point (based on situational things)? Or is this pretty much delivered as is?

    As I said, the times of me running around using routines on girls are long over. I am sure I did improvise when using it at bars. I got bored of it rather quickly and changing the spiel helped to keep up my own interest. It is worth checking out Captain Jack's strawberry routine, which is very related and meshes with my version quite well.

    Both routines work by combining chick crack with rapid sexual framing. C.J. was one of the first "pros" who focused on same night lays (as it got looked down upon as "fool's mate" by Mystery and others before). His ideas on the importance of sexual framing resonate a lot with my experience (I was never patient enough to collect phone numbers - why wait another day?).

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  14. I was reading this, being open-minded about it, imagining what I would have done in one of the clubs I frequent, if an attractive male had walked up to me and done this routine. Played it out in my head in different ways, different angles.

    And I could see it working.

    Just not on me.

    This isn't because I'm "special" or "different", but because I've had similiar things tried, repeatedly, enough to recognize a routine being played out. Other things would work on me if I was receptive and looking for play, but not that. I'd go into more detail, but I really don't want to bag on something that is well thought out, that I could see easily working time and time again.

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