Sunday, April 3, 2011

Obama and Bush Are the Same Person

I wrote this email to a friend earlier tonight. Shared here for your amusement:

I can't believe we're in another fucking war in another fucking Muslim country. What kind of crazy fetish does our government have? Was there a single regular American who wanted this war? No. It's only the DC policy-makers who ever thought this was a good idea. I'm seriously wondering what the difference between Obama and GW Bush is. One wants universal health care controlled by the government while the other wanted upper class tax cuts and school testing? Is that seriously the only difference? One is brown and half-Kenyan and the other is pale and a fake-Texan... is that all? What in God's name are we doing flying jets over Libya and bombing? I have to believe that if anyone other than Obama was ordering this (imagine if John McCain was ordering the same action), people would be out in the streets protesting left and right. All the lefties are huge hypocrites as far as I see it. They don't really care about war, they only want to rag on the "bad guys".... if their own guy does the exact same thing, they look the other way. It really makes me see how much politics is all about tribe. Red tribe versus blue tribe. Both tribes hate the other tribe. Each tribe defines itself as being NOT THE OTHER TRIBE. But the actual content of your own tribe-leader's actions apparently don't matter. War in Libya for no apparent reason? Sure! As long as that privileged Yale frat boy Bush isn't the one ordering the bombings, it's somehow this magical freedom project and we are "helping democracy." Barack Obama is black and a Democrat, so it's totally cool when he starts a war for no reason at all. Poor children who get bombed in Iraq are considered American war crimes (which I agree they are); but poor children who get bombed in Libya are just regrettable, unintended consequences, and Barack Obama is still some magical beautiful angel? Both sides disgust me utterly.... Republicans and Democrats. I knew George W. Bush didn't have an ounce of regular humanity in his body; I'm pretty sure Barack Obama doesn't either. But all the "YES WE CAN" people around me seem not to notice, because their team is winning right now. They don't really care about dying children; they just want the blue team to beat the red team. Shameful.

A guy burned a Koran in America and several dozen people were killed in Afghanistan in response. The proof that "Islam is a religion of peace" is apparently to kill innocent people. Way to prove your point, asshole Muslims. And apparently the best way to "encourage democracy" in Libya, Iraq, and Afghanistan, is to bomb the fuck out of the people living there. Way to go, America.

Our country has exactly two neighbors. One is completely and utterly harmless, and has always been a loyal and trustworthy friend, and shares basically the same culture as us, with some minor humorous variations (Canada). The other neighbor, Mexico, is a bit more different. It's culturally and linguistically different. It's poorer than we are, and as a result we have issues with Mexico about immigration and trade. But our only war with Mexico was more than a hundred years ago. Despite some very important and serious issues between the US and Mexico, it's clearly a basically friendly country. Our messed-up step-brother to the south. No one thinks Mexico or Canada is literally going to invade the USA (other than the band Rush, William Shatner, and George Lopez). France and Germany are best friends these days, and they have the oldest record of killing each other of any two countries in the world. As recently as 60 years ago, they were at each other's throats. So the idea that the USA and Mexico have "ancient rivalries" is true but also really, really retarded. There's no reason we can't just get over it. Mexico is not an enemy to us.

We have *no* military enemies. NONE. If any country in the history of the world wanted to just chill out, and spend time and money developing the well-being of its own citizens, it should be the modern USA. We have absolutely no reason to fuck around in international wars except out of our own choosing.

Our conventional military is huge and basically unbeatable. We have the world's dominant nuclear stockpile. No one fucks with our strategic allies (NATO countries, Australia, Japan).... no one would even ever *dream* of fucking with them, not even Russia, not even China. They know the USA is a big, bad, ass-kicking military motherfucker. It's the safest major power in the history of the world, and we happen to live in it. There is *zero* threat of foreign invasion. We are extremely lucky for our geography, but that's the way it is. We have as enemies: two huge oceans and two friendly neighbors.

So why... why... WHY... on EARTH.... are we involved now in a military engagement in fucking LIBYA??? What the hell??? What are we doing in Iraq? What are we doing in Afghanistan? FUCKING AFGHANISTAN!!! The whole Michael Moore plot line about petroleum and corporate profits is not wrong. It's true. But it does not have the explanatory power that neo-Marxist thinkers want it to have. There's something else going on. At some point we have to admit it's just the fucking government. The Kings of America. George Bush and David Frum and Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. It's a lust for power. It's just like the old Roman emperors. They fuck with other people just because they can. I mean, the anti-Khadaffi forces in Libya are OPENLY supporting Al Qaeda. The people who most openly want to murder us and blow up our intestines. They openly admit they are extremist Islamists. And we are helping them??? Why??? Apparently in the name of "democracy," we must empower these shitheads. It makes me batty.

I don't think there's some big conspiracy. I don't think Obama is a secret Muslim or some such nutty theory. But I also don't think the conventional university professor theories work either. The basic boring theory that is taught to every single college student in America, like the manufacture of chicken mcnuggets, is that it's all about exploitation and corporations and oil. Certainly, the powerful exploit the weak. Welcome to Planet Earth. But that simply leaves too many gaps to explain the way things are now. I think that basically Americans are mad. Not mad-angry, but mad-insane. We have this insane theory that every society on earth has to be like our own, and if they don't act like us, they have to be either bombed or immigrated to the USA. So if Mexico is not like the USA, we need to get more Mexicans in the USA. And if the country is too far away and too small, like Libya, well then bomb the motherfuckers until they start acting like Americans. This is where Bush and Obama are basically the same guy. The whole world must act like Americans or else. It's absolutely insane. It's a religion, except there is no salvation and no grace and no beauty and no God. Only the ugly side of religion: eternal feelings of sinful guilt and eternal religious wars. "We must repent of our sinfulness by bombing Libya." Fucking nuts! Totalitarian humanism. Count me out, dude.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I Hate The New York Times With Every Bone In My Body


These fucking people! Everything is fucking twee! Everything is a fucking lifestyle choice. God!

For the record, I compose all my long pieces on a typewriter. If I feel like editing them or sharing them online, I scan or retype them in digital format.

The third most-emailed article on the NYTimes website, as of March 31. Just look at that URL: Backslash FASHION backslash TYPEWRITER.

And I quote:

“I’m in love with all of them,” said Louis Smith, 28, a lanky drummer from Williamsburg. Five minutes later, he had bought a dark blue 1968 Smith Corona Galaxie II for $150. “It’s about permanence, not being able to hit delete,” he explained. “You have to have some conviction in your thoughts. And that’s my whole philosophy of typewriters.”

These people have NO FUCKING SOULS.

Die die die. Die in hell. Choke on your twee fucking "lifestyle choices."